Connect the Dots
by Edwardxlovesxme
Summary: What happens when Edward decides he cannot resist Bella's temptation anymore? What do you think? Rated M for a reason..... smut.
1. Connect the Dots

(A/N) So hello there. This is my first attempt at fanfic of any kind, so please be gentler. I am most inspired by music so most of the stories I plan to write, have a song attached to them. This story was inspired by The Spill Canvas's _Connect the Dots_. Though the story may be a little darker. Pleas enjoy and _**REVIEW**_ !

I own nothing. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer

_**Connect the Dots by The Spill Canvas **_

_**If your feet hurt,  
from walking too much.  
Then I will tend to them,  
with a velvet touch.  
If your lungs just don't wanna,  
work today.  
Then I'll perform a mouth-to-mouth,  
until you're okay.**_

_**Don't you just love,  
the feeling of my fingertips,  
Circling your lips?  
Don't you just love,  
the desire taking hold of you?  
I can tell you do.  
I know all your favorite spots,  
And tonight we will connect the dots.**_

_**If your muscles are wound up and tight,  
Then I will loosen up the knots,  
until it feels right.  
If your ears just ache from listening,  
Then I'll supply the remedy,  
In the melodies I'll sing.**_

_**Don't you just love,  
the feeling of my fingertips,  
Circling your lips?  
Don't you just love,  
the desire taking hold of you?  
Well I can tell you do.  
I know all your favorite spots,  
and tonight we will connect the dots.**_

_**Don't you just love,  
the feeling of my fingertips,  
Circling your lips?  
Don't you just love,  
the desire taking hold of you?  
Well I can tell you do.  
I know all your favorite spots,  
And tonight we will connect the dots.**_

We lie here in my bed, as we do every night that my unquenchable thirst is not consuming my mind. Her placid breathing, pounding heart, and the words she utters every few minutes are the only sounds that fill my thoughts.

God had meant for this amazing creature to belong to some virtuous, honorable man. Not a horrifying tyrant such as myself. No matter how long I could sit and think about it, it never made sense to me. This _angel _somehow decided that she wanted me. I'm the most selfish _thing _in this entire world.

I ache to pierce the skin that stretched over the expanse of her neck. To feel the heat of her blood mixing with the icy cold of my venom. To watch the love she has for me slowly fade away from her eyes as I am latched onto her neck. Giving herself up to me fully.

_**No **_

She is mine and I love her more than my own sanity. My love for her controls me more so that my insane lust for her blood. I just need to keep telling myself that.

_Bella. _

Just _thinking_ her name made the venom within my body travel to my extremities. My mouth was full of the freezing liquid, and the tips of my fingers grew even more sensitive to the slightest brush of her warm, supple flesh against my marble skin. The venom also journeyed down to my _other, _more human extremity.

I felt like a monster.

Because here in my arms sleeps the light in my pitiful excuse for a life. And all I can think about are _my_ needs. About all the things I wanted to do _to_ her, but also _for_ her.

It is wrong. Because she trusts me so entirely. She sees me as a guardian, to protect from all the things that could hurt and corrupt her. How ironic.

Unexpectedly, a low, soft moan escapes her deliciously plump lips, _"Edward"_

It is a frustrated sigh of my name. I feel like a dick. Bella keeps offering herself to me and I keep refusing. The only reason being my love of her human life. And my immense fear of hurting her, breaking her, _ruining_ her. Forever.

Then, yet again Bella stirs. This time, clutching every part of her body even closer to mine. I let out a quiet groan. The electricity radiates from her skin. The scent of her hair wafts to my nostrils.

I _**need**_ her.

She wakes as I skim my thumb over her lips.

"Edward?" She looks up at me with curiosity.

Lowering my head, I meet our lips. As I increase the speed and depth of our kiss, I can almost feel her surprise. She was the one who always initiated our more passionate kisses. And here I was, waking her up in the middle of the night, interrupting her slumber to taste her sweet flavor. Bella, now fully realizing the full meaning of this kiss, returns it aggressively. She cautiously attempts to open my mouth, allowing her to taste my poison. The very thought of Bella wanting me in that way excited me even more. I felt the stiff member in my pants, harden even more.

I roll us over, so I am no longer next her but over her. Placing what I think are feather light kisses along her jaw. Slowly, I work my way down her neck stopping as I arrive at the vein pulsing within her neck, protected from my fangs by only a thin layer of pale skin. I inhale deeply, increasing my longing for her blood _and_ her body. Further journeying down, I drag my tongue across her delicate collarbones.

The sounds she lets out as I am doing this to her. _Oh shit_. They were incredibly seductive. My innocent Bella's growls, only encouraging my expedition down the extent of her form.

I rest my head just above her cleavage, on her fragile beating heart. Its thumps are rough, erratic. She is nervous. In the back of my mind, I wonder whether I should stop, and ask her if she would like to continue. Be a perfect gentleman, and hold back my carnal needs. But I _**can't**_. No matter how much I want to lift my head and form words, it stays flat against her chest. My hands around the delicate curvature of her waist.

As her breathing regulates, I feel comfortable enough to continue my conquest of her virtue. I pick up my head and raise my eyes to hers. They meet and I instantly feel the permission I need to keep going.

Gently I push the lacy straps of her camisole off of her shoulders. Shivering beneath me, she lets out a long exhale of breath. I move farther down her body, raising the hem of her shirt, divulging her flat, luminescent abdomen to my greedy eyes. I start to trace small circular patterns with the tip of my nose around the indentation in the center of her stomach. Even touches as modest as this one, made my desire for her grow tenfold.

My hands lightly floated down her sides until they met the waist band of her shorts. I slipped my fingers under the elastic. She inhales sharply, but my wants are still far too great to stop now. I pull down the shorts that cover my Bella's delicious hips, as she lifts them to aid my efforts.

I stare down at her blue lace boy shorts. They revealed almost enough to sedate my hunger for her, but nearly enough.

A new surge of confidence flows through me. She wants this as much as I do. I hastily return my mouth to hers, devouring her supple lips. My hands grab the raised hem of her camisole and slowly bring it over head. Not looking down yet, my eyes maintain contact with hers, hoping that she can sense the love I truly have for her. A silent conversation affirms my thoughts.

I slowly allow my eyes to rake down her delectable body until I am met with the most beautiful sight in my entire 108 years of existence. Bella's chest laid out and exposed to me and for me. _Only _for me. "Shit, Bella" I whisper, gawking at her divine breasts. I look up to her, expecting to see a mutual feeling of affection, but instead I find a Bella embarrassed beyond all description. She brings her arms to cover her breasts right away, ducking her head into the crook of my neck.

"Bella. Bella? Bella you are so striking and lovely, I feel inadequate just looking at you. I do not deserve something as wonderful as you are. My biggest fear was that when you first looked at me in that way, you would not like what _you_ saw." My sheepish admission seemed to ease Bella enough for her to remove her arms.

"Thank you." I whisper smally as I bring my hands to her face, locking our lips in a passion filled embrace. I climb back down her body and my face is now on the same level as her marvelous breasts. I study them breathlessly for what seems like forever. I memorize the gentle curves, forming perfect white orbs on her chest. The petite, pink, hardened tips that topped her curves, like some kind of sensuous sundae. I long to worship my goddess, show her what she truly means. Allow her to see that I am nothing but a humble servant to her. I take my thumbs to them and hear her whimper in pleasure.

I tremble at the thought that I could bring my angel to pleasure so intense she needed to verbalize it. My pants become agonizingly tight. I need to speed this up. But Bella's whimpering releases some of my tension.

She reached to intertwine her fingers within my hair, attempting to bring my mouth closer to her sensitive breast. "Nu-uh Bella." I purr into her ear. "This is my fun to have. I request that you do not touch me, as my control over my actions is already waning."

She groans a yielding sound in compliance. But not trusting her, I gather her frail wrists in my hand, pinning them above her head. She lies beneath me, out in the open for my enjoyment. She looks at me pleading with her seductive brown eyes and lets out a silent, "_Please_."

I cannot deny my angel of anything. Then I do it. I feel her breasts. They are even softer than I could have anticipated. Beginning to manipulate them, Bella's small whimpers grew to yelps of powerful gratification. A "crooked smile", as Bella calls it, spreads across my face. I remove my hand, replacing it with my mouth. I gently circle around her erect nipples before taking it in my mouth. I continue to massage her other breast, reveling in the cries of passion she emits. Sucking on it vigorously before lightly grazing my teeth over it.

At that Bella sits up and looks at me with lust I had not seen from her yet. She takes her tiny hand and places it squarely on my chest, putting what she thinks is a sizeable amount of pressure on me. Sensing her intentions I lean back so that she strattles me. Even though three layers of clothing separate us, I feel the scorching liquid gathering at the joining of her thighs. I groan loudly and look up at Bella with hungry eyes. She brings her index finger down to my lips as to silence me. I poke my tongue out to taste it. She bites her lip and begins to graze her hands over the buttons of my shirt. Not being able to stand the tension, I rip off my shirt. Buttons are now scattered throughout her room. Her eyes meet mine, looking surprised.

"Bella, I cannot take this much longer." I plead to her.

At that her hands go to the belt buckle around my waist. As I lay moaning in anticipation, her hands skillfully undo the dammned contraption. Her face is now at the same height as my throbbing bulge. She takes her teeth, bites down on the zipper of my pants, and goes on to pull it down ever so slowly.

I lift my hips to help her, as she pulls my jeans off my legs. After throwing them off the bed, she slithers back up my legs. Her hands reach for erection through my boxers. Petite fingers wrap around it, and she pants a low, surprised, "Oh!"

"It is _**all **_for you love. Just tell me you want it." I growl into her hair. Her response is a strategically placed, breath of blazing air of the expanse of my covered bulge.

That is the last straw. Before she can blink I am on top of her again, assaulting her breasts with my mouth. My boxers are gone, resting my hardness on her uncovered thigh. I spread her legs to kneel between them. My hands tremble with eagerness. I rip her panties in two, not being able to take it any more. My head drops to draw in her scent.

It is the finest wine, my brand of heroin. And after nights of fantasizing what it would taste like, I would actually get to experience it. Bella has stopped breathing and her body has gone rigid. I draw my tongue out of my mouth and trace the lengths of her sex. Even during my periods of rebellion to Carlisle's abstinence from human blood, _**never**_ had I tasted something this sweet. My fingers roam to her hot center. Cautiously my index finger travels inside of her. I hear deep, unpredictable breathing accompanied by moans of pleasure. I bring my mouth to rest on a miniature bundle of nerves.

This simple action is bringing Bella to climax. I can feel her walls tightening around my finger as she screams out my name in pure ecstasy. I glance up at her face to see her in the throes of passion, not being able to think of anything except the bliss that _**only I**_ can give to her. Her brown mane sweaty, her head lolled back, her eyes have shut tightly and her mouth has formed a perfect little "o". Screaming my name and not caring who heard her.

The mutt's hearing is pretty good right? I wonder if he can hear this.

I remove my mouth from her clit and my finger from her sex. As I place my length at her entrance, my mind is filled with inexpressible love for this mortal below me.

"I do not want to hurt you Bella. You must tell me what to do. I cannot read your mind."

She giggles, and blushes the loveliest shade of pink at the last part of my statement.

As carefully as I can, I gradually thrust my erection into her. "Goddammit Bella. You are so fucking tight." She moans at my profession. I continue to plunge into her until I am met by a barrier. She takes her hand and places it on my face, as a sign of trust. I look at her, with sorrow in my eyes as I break the thin layer of skin. Her face has distorted and scrunched up. I see her holding back tears.

"Bella? What do you want me to do? Should I stop now?"

"No," she whispers, "just wait please."

After minutes of staying vampire still within her, her hand grasps mine and squeezes, reassuring me that she is okay. I persist to push into her until I am fully concealed. I see the pain melt away from her face, being replaced by gratification. At that, I begin to start a steady rhythm.

Bella rises and grips my shoulders firmly, gasping against my ear. "_Edward!_"

She is so close, I can feel it. Just as she clamped around my finger, she is now clamping around my erection. I am close too. I actually sense a heat within myself, as my body convulses.

"Ungh! Keep going. Faster, harder. I'm so close!"

"Come for me now Bella. Scream my name. Let everyone know what I do to you" I groan, increasing my speed

Bella grips my shoulders as forcefully as she can. I can actually feel her nails pushing against my skin. Her head throws back

Just as Bella screams out my name I answer back "_Bella!_" I feel my cool liquid fill her as she rides out her orgasm. When we have both regained some kind of conscious thought, I hold her tight balled up body to mine and whisper "I love you Isabella Swan."

Exhaustion consumes her and she lays limp against my chest. I cradle her, feeling a bigger need then ever to protect and please her.


	2. Lullaby

(A/N) So technically this my third attempt at fanfic. Everybody has been super nice and supportive so far . (Thanks!!) I guess towards the end, Lullaby by The Spill Canvas helped to relieve some writer's block.Stephenie Meyer owns all recognizable characters and anything else I forgot. Now enjoy and _**REVIEW! **_(it makes my day)

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.  
It's your ability to make me earn this.  
I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep.  
It's about how you laugh out of pity,  
'Cause lets be honest I'm not really that funny.  
I know that you're shy, just let me sing you to sleep._

If you need anything, just the say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close.

It's those pills that you don't need to take,  
medicating perfection, now that's a mistake.  
I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.  
It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it.  
It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.  
I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep.

If you need anything, just the say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close.

While you were sleeping I figured out everything,  
I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.  
Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins.  
You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame.

(Oh)

If you need anything, just the say the word.  
I mean anything. (I really do)  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close.

If you need anything, just the say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close.

I guess I "woke up".

Every time Bella sleeps in my arms, I start to "dream".

I "dream" about our future, or lack there of, it depends on what she says to me before she crumples into my arms. It's peculiar, because the nights she says her more loving, deep confessions, our lack of future floats into my "dreams". Because I debate with myself, when or if I'll have the strength to leave her. **Leave her**_**. **_That would be the ultimate act of protection. Shielding her from my wickedness. Letting her live a customary life, get married, have children and die.

**Die**

The self-interested part of my mind always argues, "_If she is going to die, why not just do it yourself and keep her?"_ **Forever**_**.**_ (A/N: Italicized sentences are Edward's conflicting internal personalities.)

Keeping her implies taking her. Taking her from Charlie, her mother Renee, all her small minded friends who be traumatized for life if one of their classmates was tragically "killed". And even taking her away from the dog just does not seem justifiable. He may be a disgusting, horny animal but he really does care for her.

"_Eventually, the mutt would imprint on some bitch and desert Bella. Save her now, everyone she knows will get over it." _My mind snaps back_._

I have to get out of my room. Bella's scent is intoxicating me. I am unable to think a straight thought. Slowly, I slither my hand out from under her, letting her gently roll to face the opposite way. I slip out from the covers and head over to my closet. I throw on a pair of flannel plaid pajama pants that Bella had given me as a gag gift and a black cotton t-shirt. I stride to the door, avoiding floorboards I know are creaky.

"Shit." I mutter. **They** heard us. They had all heard everything, including the opening of my door. Let the taunting begin, maybe Esme and Carlisle would stand up for me. I block out their thoughts, as I trudge downstairs. Alice sprints to hug me, "Oh I am so happy for you! Too bad I didn't see it coming."

"No Alice, I think it is better for all of us that you did not see this coming. I am glad you did not invade on a private matter between Bella and myself." I mutter to her.

"God, Edward! You just got laid; stop being such a prude already." Emmett hollers at me, maintaining his gaze on whatever mindless videogame he happened to be playing.

'Emmett", I snarl, "no one **'laid' **anything tonight. Bella and I expressed our love together. And I do **NOT **feel the need to share what transpired tonight, with anyone!"

"Oh come on Edward! You've only been reading our minds the past 50 years we've had sex. It's not fair you get to keep it a secret." Rose sneered from her place next to Emmett on the couch, not lifting her head from his lap.

Jasper, who I had been expecting to more respectful, than says "Don't worry Rose. It's nothing that would interest you or Emmett. It was much too tame."

"Are you sure Jasper?" Rose asks, "Because between Bella screaming and Edward moaning commands at her, it sounded like a pretty good time. I guess quiet little Eddie likes to take control."

**A pretty good time**_**?**_That is the description of the ultimate act of love Bella and I had just performed? To my family sex means nothing, it is just a way to shake out stress. But every time Bella and I make love, I plan to worship her and cherish her, not quickly relieve myself and then go to watch television. 

I cannot find any words to express my self aloud at that moment, and tread heavily up the stairs in frustration.

The moonlight is at the top of my window, casting a most sensual beam on Bella's barely covered body. Dawn will come in a few hours. Bella must sleep before the wave of embarrassment attacks her in the form of my prying siblings. I stroke her curls as I lay facing her. Her warm breath washes over my neck, as I hold mine in, attempting to disturb her sleep as little as possible.

The stretch from her shoulder to shoulder is uncovered, leaving an enjoyable sight to sidetrack my "dreaming" mind. I try not to think that her glorious body is hidden from view by only a thin white piece of fabric.

I hear an impulsive gasp, and look to my angel. "Sleep love, you still have time to rest." I murmur into her ear, not yet wanting to tell her what waits for her downstairs.

"Edward, I never want to sleep around you if I don't have to." Bella says with a naughty grin, trying to be seductive and succeeding.

"Bella, you **really** should not say things like that. You incredibly tempting as it is." I remove my hands from her hair, trying to discourage what ever she is thinking

"Apparently not 'tempting' enough. If I was, you would take me. Right. Now." She breathes into the crook of my neck.

"Bella are you not sore? Because I am waiting for your bruises to develop and for you to run home screaming 'rape'." I mumble, my body turning stiff in attempt to resist her.

"Well Edward, last time you were in control and my brain was so overloaded, I couldn't process what you were doing to me. I think it's finally time for you to just sit back and let me do something for you." She reaches out her hand to stroke a line down my shirt.

My resolve immediately melts, rendering me immobile as she rolls herself on top of me. She has no idea how even small touches from her take my breath away. So when she flings her naked body onto me, I am almost incapable of thought. "Oh Bella." I groan reaching to her bare waist.

"I don't think so Edward. This time it's my turn."

"Ugh."

She kisses me enthusiastically, wrapping her hands around my neck, rolling her nude body against my still covered one. My knuckles turn white as they defy their natural calling to Bella's form. She was justified in her wish for a dominant moment. I was always protecting her, watching over her, dictating what can and cannot do to safeguard her. Bella is a strong individual and my constant smothering of affection probably does just that, smothers her. She needs a release and I was going to let her have it.

Bella's actions coincide with my mental acceptance, as she sits up staring down at me like some piece of meat. While she runs her hands down my chest, I feel the thin material is much too bulky. But I say nothing, Bella can decide when she wants, what she wants. She watches her hands splay out over my stone chest, and I am hypnotized by her breasts.

I feel like one of those horny adolescent boys I attend school with. My natural unexplained attraction to her breasts consuming my thoughts. They were the perfect size, just big enough to take up the area of my hand, but small enough for me to manipulate easily. She thinks I am perfect?

No one deserves Bella. She is the reincarnation of Eve. The perfect woman, shaped in God's image. In this scenario, she views me as her Adam. Oh, she could not be any more wrong. I am the snake. I am tempting her to eternal damnation. But for her there is no son of God to sacrifice himself for her. There is no second chance; as soon as I take Bella as my wife her fate is sealed. On our way back from our honeymoon, the private plane I am flying will "crash". The wreckage will be found of course, but Carlisle will deem our bodies too mangled and grotesque to display at our joint funeral. The Cullens, now "mourning the loss of their son and new daughter" will travel to Alaska to escape the scrutiny of small town life. Yes we had everything planned out.

How I can think this tangent of thoughts as a nude Bella is straddling me? I am really not sure. The hem of my shirt begins to rise, Bella grazing each inch of my newly uncovered abdomen with her delectable lips. Her tits hang blatantly in my face as she pulls the shirt over my head. _I cannot believe I just referred to my Bella like that_! No matter how much my mind tried to maintain the gentlemanly morals I was taught, a sexual animal comes out to play. I stretch my neck up to lick and bite at her nipple, gently jerking it downwards.

"Ahhh. Ohhh. Shit Edward! Can't you just be good and let me play with you?"

"Just think of me as your playground love" I speak softly into the crevasse that her hanging breasts create above my face. She now slides down my body, pressing her exposed tits against my pecs, while massaging the spot where blood should run through my neck with her mouth. She clearly does not understand that one of the most erotic things a vampire can experience is being bitten by their mate, especially on their former pulse points.

"Mmmm. **Bite**me Bella." I growl without thinking how strange it would sound to her.

Her head snaps up, "What did you say? Edward, do you want me to bite you?"

"Yes please." I beg humbly to the dangerous seductress above me.

"As you wish love." Imitating my usual lead role, she drops her head to my neck, securing her lips to my dormant vein. Now I am sure the amount of pressure Bella is expelling onto my neck could break human skin, but to me it felt like a pinch. A very sexual pinch nonetheless. My guttural moans only encourage her to move her lips more vehemently.

"Bella, if you want to stay in control, you are going to have to move faster than this." I say, surprised at my own ability to form a coherent sentence.

"Edward, just because I said I couldn't process what you were doing to me, doesn't me I can't remember. Now prop yourself up with your elbows and wait your turn." Oh yes, she was going to make this painful.

She makes her way even lower down my body, grinding down when she feels my rising erection. But she does not stop there; she spreads my covered legs to kneel between them. Her body bends in half, the side of her face coming to rest just above the waistband of my pants, her hands resting high on my thighs.

Bella's angle on my body makes her magnificent ass pop up so perfectly. _Ass? What are you, some gangster rapper? _The "born in 1901 gentleman" once again comes to the forefront of my mind, reprimanding the sexual deviant that has taken over my body. The gentleman quickly gets sucker punched as Bella tugs down at the band of my flannel pajamas, her face hovering above my all too ready cock. _Cock Edward? I have lost all respect. _ She tosses the removed pants over her shoulder, gawking down at the treasure she had revealed. "You fit last time?" She asks in her normal, meek Bella voice.

"Very well actually." I smirk

"Um E-Edward?" God, she just bit her lip.

"Yes Bella?" I strain

"Have you ever….. m-measured yourself **down there**?" Bella is **so **adorable and innocent. I toss my head back and let out a low laugh.

"Don't you dare laugh at me Edward Cullen!" She yells, blushing profusely.

"Bella, you have no idea what you do to my ego" I growl playfully, tracing patterns on her thighs.

She remains silent but her mouth is now level with my erection. The warm breath exiting her mouth **dances **over my "other" head. I emit a low hiss through clenched teeth. Bella giggles. "Love, I do not think it is very wise for you to 'giggle' at a naked vampire"

"Edward, it's just funny how you are the 'dangerous vampire' and I am the 'weak human', yet I'm not even touching you, and you look like you're about to explode."

"Bella, you are a **fragile** human, never weak."

With that supporting comment, Bella grabs the base of my cock and pulls up quickly. The lack of lubrication creates an extremely enjoyable amount of friction. "Ahhhh." I breathe lowly. Her smooth, heated hands pump out a deliberate rhythm, as I fling my head back and drive my hips upward to meet her. "Ohhhh. Christ!"

Bella interprets this as her cue to swirl her tongue around the head of my erection. My mouth hangs open but words cannot make their way out. Finally the gentleman gets a word in, "Bella? D-Do you really want to do this? I understand that **t-this** is not always a woman's most favorite p-part of foreplay."

"God Edward! Here I am practically giving you a blowjob and you say you don't want it! It isn't 1918 anymore, I know what you **need** Edward. Besides, I've wanted to taste you from the moment we met."

Her last sentence removes all thoughts from my mind and sends me into some sort of frenzy.

"Edward, I think it will be easier if we do this another way. Get off the bed and stand at the foot of it."

I obey silently and wait anxiously for her to come before me. She stretches her body over my bed, testing my self control. The urge to pounce on her was mounting. _Mounting what Edward? Let's get to it then!_ She glides off of the bed and onto her knees in front of me. Our heights our perfect together, her mouth comes just above to tip of my cock, allowing her full access to me. She reaches out her hand and it comes to rest on my aching balls, she squeezes down on the sensitive organ. "Fuck Bella! You must relieve me somehow." I plead.

She cocks her head to the side and presses her tongue flat against my erection. She pulls it up slowly, looking like an innocent girl enjoying a pop-sickle. I shudder and wait for the feeling of her heat to return. Her mouth floats above my cock, as if she is wondering how she is going to do this. "You will be perfect Bella, do not worry." I reassure her.

She inhales deeply before letting out a slow steady breath. Her cheeks hollow and mouth forms a small circle. She brings her lips to meet my member, gently massaging it before plunging down. I hear her gag slightly but she continues sucking. She was so incredibly selfless. Then I feel her teeth scrape my length lightly, probably by accident, but I assure you, I do not mind at all.

"Goddammit! Bella keep going." I growl. My hands forcefully grab her hair and my hips thrust into her accepting mouth. I was thankful for Bella's inexperience in this act, humans do not usually gain pleasure from teeth nearly biting their genitals. But as I referenced before, vampires undeniably do.

My distracted brain vaguely remembers Bella saying that it was her turn to take control. She had not held on to it tightly enough. I keep my grip on her head, bucking my hips more violently than ever. I burning begins inside of me, it is pure ecstasy by I need to alleviate myself of it soon. Her delicate finger releases from my balls and traces its way to the thinly stretched skin at the underside of my erection.

My mind is overtaken by one thought, Bella. " Uhh. Bella. Bella. Bella. Bell-uh!!" I shout her name like some kind of victory chant. Icy venom flows out of me in short ribbons, as I hear Bella struggling to swallow all that I eject.

I grip her arms and pull her lips to mine. I can still taste myself on her lips, it is so erotic. She leads us back to the bed; I lay on my back while she is at the foot of it. Scrambling on top of me for the umpteenth time tonight, I can tell she intends to carry out her true intentions. She grinds her dripping hot pussy on my recovering erection. My need for her is greater now than ever.

Our bodies create a 90 degree angle as she raises her body. My first time to be with a woman in the biblical sense was only hours ago, yet here was my now deflowered virgin initiating new positions.

Her hands grasp my hips for support as she lifts herself up, suspended above my awaiting cock. I grab her hips attempting to help guide her. She finds me and swiftly slams down. "Ahhhh! Edward!" she shrieks, arching her back. Her hands move to my chest as she commences her rhythm. Our bodies move in perfect time, thrusting together simultaneously.

Once again, my mind is mesmerized by her bouncing tits. They bounce one beat after our bodies pound. I memorize this rhythm for a future composition. My hands grab roughly at her jumping breasts, her hard nipples rolling between my fingers. "Ahh. Ahh. Ahh. Edward don't stop, don't ever stop!"

"_Never, not until she wants to"_, I think. I feel the unbearable heat rise in my stomach for a second time. I feel her inner walls contracting wildly around my cock. She pushes her energy out in one final slam as we both grind against each other, riding out our orgasms. I remain within her for several minutes. Her heavy breathing continues for much too long and I am now concerned with her health. "Love? Are you feeling alright? Your breathing is staggered, do I need to call Carlisle in?"

"Edward, I am not allowing you to call your father into our room after we have made love, just because you think I'm breathing too hard. Did you even think that the reason I'm struggling for breath is you? That you are just so amazing at everything. How when you think I'm sleeping, I'm really just contemplating if you even gain any pleasure from what we do together. You could've had Rosalie. And you chose me why?"

"Bella you will never understand why I love you? Rosalie is jealous of you now; just imagine how she will feel when you are changed. I cannot even conceive how you could become any more beautiful. Believe me if there was a way to make myself human, I would do it in a heartbeat. No matter how painful, because altering perfection such as yours should be a sin." I finish. The confessions were just pouring out of me tonight. "Bella just let me hold you, and think about what I said."

Her back molds against my chest, and my arms wrap around her torso, protecting her from everything, even her own self doubts.


	3. Saved

The dawn breaks into my room, providing a picturesque mountain vista

(A/N: New chapter yeah! I wrote this when my power was out, so I guess I just needed some love. I would like to thank MasenLover, whose words of encouragement helped me to finish this chapter. Please read and _**REVIEW**_!!)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me

_**Saved – The Spill Canvas**_

_**I am unbreakable but it looks like I could sometime soon  
And you are unreachable about as possible as me touching the moon**_

I am unraveling unbearably empty  
and if this ground gives way I just hope that you_**'**__**ll catch me.**_

You came and saved me tonight  
Defending all my life  
Whoa, now I_**'**__**m content with my breath cuz I**__**'**__**m alive**_

And this is the epitome of everything you see in the movies  
And this world is a time bomb ticking and I think I can stop it if you help me.

I am unraveling unbearably empty and if this ground gives way I just hope that you_**'**__**ll catch me.**_

You came and saved me tonight  
Defending all my life  
Whoa, now I_**'**__**m content with my breath cuz I**__**'**__**m alive**_

My faith will never rust  
No longer to prone bust  
Oh finally I believe...

You came and saved me tonight  
Defending all my life  
Now I'm content with my breath

You came and saved me tonight  
Defending all my life  
Now I'm content with my breath  
Cuz I'm alive

Cuz I'm alive...

The dawn breaks into my room, providing a picturesque mountain vista. I wish my angel would awake to enjoy this view, maybe it would help her recognize how beautiful she is. I drag my nose up and down the back of her neck, from her hair down to her shoulder. Not only did her blood smell especially tantalizing from this position but I did gain some _carnal _pleasures from this intimate encounter.

My reservations about sexualizing Bella's body had lessened since last night. I can tell that she has been doing the same to mine. Now it is impossible to think of her as anything else than a sexual being. Oh how thankful I am no one can read my thoughts, I can assure you that my family would not be anywhere near me at this point. I know I must be making Jasper uncomfortable, but he would have to deal with it. How many years had resided in house with _three_ sexually active couples? Mind reading was not the most useful skill to have in that situation. The least they could do now is put up with our initial phases, while we relieved all the tension that had built up due to our abstinence.

Bella and I were now under the covers, which made it easier to concentrate because her naked body splayed out on my bed is a truly irresistible sight. Even though I was aware her naked body was flush against mine, the touch feels so loving that the animal in my mind remains dormant.

The splendor of the dawn would end soon, Bella is still asleep.

"Bella? Wake up, I want you to see something." I brush her hair behind her ear as I whisper into it.

"Edward? What is it?" She flips to face me, not looking at all annoyed that I woke her up, just interested at what I had to show her.

"Love, look at the sunrise."

Bella's eyes scan across the room to the window. Her eyes widen in awe, their depth seems grow.

"That is how I feel every time I look at you. You natural beauty just strikes me so much, I hope this explains how much you affect me."

She wraps her hand my waist and lays her torso across my chest. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too Bella." I kiss the top of her head. The scent of strawberries is strangely absent. It is replaced by sweat and the smell of sex. Not that I was complaining, the aroma was just different. Equally as sweet, just less innocent.

I guess I might as well tell her now, "Bella, there is something I feel I need to discuss with you. We need to go down and confront my family."

"Why? Edward, d-did we do something w-wrong?"

"No, to the contrary we did everything right." I chuckle as she flushes a sexy shade of crimson. "The problem is my family heard us "expressing our love" last night, and they feel the burning need to interrogate us."

"I think I can handle them, but you have to be beside me the ENTIRE time."

"I never leave you willfully, you know that."

It is probably around 7 o'clock now. I take Bella in my arms and walk towards the bathroom. I set her down on a plush ottoman in the center of the marble floor. The vaulted ceiling leads up to another wall of windows, giving us the last glimpses of the true dawn.

I turn the faucet, the freestanding tub slowly fills with hot water. While I wait for it finish I take a seat next to Bella resting my hand on her knee and look her square in the eye.

"My family, they can _smell_ fear, so always act like you were expecting anything they throw at you. And they are going to ask for the nitty-gritty details, they feel I owe them after reading their minds for so long. Like I wanted to see them all having sex." I shudder at the thought. Bella giggles softly. I catch her head and plant a soft kiss on her lips, not really exerting any effort, just allowing my lips to linger there with hers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the water level nearing the top. "Wait here." I murmur against her mouth. I turn it off, testing my finger in the water, it is slightly warmer than Bella, which I understand will be a good temperature.

I hold out my hand to her. "Come to me Bella."

She seductively stands up, "Edward, you don't need to tell me to come twice."

Oh, Bella would be nonstop innuendo from now on. Looks like I am not alone in my sexual obsession. I grin crookedly at her.

She starts to lift herself into the bathtub, I quickly sweep her feet out from under her, smoothly lowering her into the porcelain basin. The water rises to the very rim. Her body falls completely limp in pure relaxation. Her eyelids fall so tenderly. My Bella looks so pristine, well as pristine as she can after what we did.

Originally I was just going to let her soak, ease away the bruises that will start forming any second. But now I want to join her, bask in her pure loveliness. I slip myself in so easily, yet water laps over the edge onto the marble tile. I lie in the other end of the tub, facing the tranquil angel.

Her eyes remain closed but she clearly speaks, "Now you're just trying to cook your food before you eat it."

The low rumble of laughter that escapes out of my throat reverberates through the stone bathroom. "Ah Bella, I will take you anyway I can get you." I whisper, caressing the skin just above her knee under the surface of the water.

I pick up her right leg and place it on my right shoulder. I lather the loofah floating in the water and massage circles up the length of her leg before replacing it. When I go to pick her other leg up, my hind grips a tiny bit _too _high. Her steady deep breathing ceases and her body tenses. I smirk to myself before beaming up at her. Her head leans back on the lip of the bathtub.

"Did I do that? So sorry love."

"Yeah right you little tease." Her eyes crack open.

"Me, Edward Anthony Cullen, a tease? After what I did for you last night, I am a tease?"

'"You only built it up for six months." She mutters.

"Well I have a lot of loss time to make up for." I say this as my hand floats up her thigh. My fingertips approach the joint of her hip and leg. I feel her shudder as my hand follows the curve down to her heat. My fingers find their way to her lips, pulling upward until they hit a small bundle of nerves.

"Oh, Edward you have no idea how good that feels." My name rolls of her tongue as she moans out.

As I begin to tug at it in small circles, she bites down on her lip and lifts her hips in rhythm with my movements. My thumb remains on her clit but my middle and index finger wander down to tease her entrance. They outline it lightly before burying within her.

"Ohh!" A high pitched moan flies out of her mouth.

My tempo increases, I _need _to hear that noise again. Who knew you could be addicted to sound. My new speed causes Bella to rock forward, her forehead pushes against my chest.

"Go harder Edward. I'm _so _close." She begs in a whisper.

Her words cause me to audibly groan, and I thrust my fingers into her more rapidly.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, _Edward!" _Her high moans culminate in my name, which is my favorite thing I have heard all night.

I hold her body close to mine as I kiss starting behind her ear finishing at her bottom lip, as I nibble and suck on it.

"Bella I love you in ways you will never be able to understand. Do you think you are ready now?"

She nods slowly and I rise out of the bathtub and go to grab towels for us. I wrap one around my hips and hold the other one open, beckoning her to my arms. She raises herself up and places her feet on the ground. Could she truly be this sexy without trying, it has to be impossible. She reaches onto her tip-toes to kiss me, the towel separating our exposed chests.

I drag the towel over every inch of her body, struggling internally whether or not to respond to her moans of pleasure when the towel comes in contact with _certain _areas of her body. When I am done I wrap around her body, resting my hands on her hips as we kiss passionately.

I leave one of my hands on her hip and guise her to my closet. Thanks to Alice, Bella had a near full wardrobe at my house. I walk to the drawer that houses all of her _unmentionables. _Alice had been quite adamant about filling this particular drawer. I bypass the lacey lingerie that I enjoy seeing her in and grab a black matching bra and panty set. This morning would be uncomfortable enough without frilly thongs.

She sticks her hand out to take them from me, but I lower it as I unwrap her towel. She sits on yet another fluffy ottoman in the center of my vast closet. I slide the black panties up her milky white legs and she stands letting me pull them up all the way. I plant a small kiss right above the band of her underwear before rising from my knees. I clasp her bra behind her back before kissing the nape of her neck.

She goes to put on some overpriced velour tracksuit that Alice purchased for her. It proudly proclaims across her ass that she is "Juicy".

"That is going to attract some attention."

"You told me to act confident."

I flash a wide smile at her, "You can go wait on the bed while I dress. I will not be long."

"Edward are you out of your mind? I'll take every opportunity I can to explore your body."

My smile widens even more. I was not going to ask her, that just seems rude, but she suggested it. She picks out a ridiculous pair of boxers with little bottles of Tabasco sauce all over them. We both giggle lightly as she hikes them up my legs. She throws a pair of jeans over her shoulder at me, trusting I am capable of putting them on myself. Out of one of the deeper drawers, she digs up an old Sex Pistols concert shirt.

She responds to my curiously cocked eyebrow, "Well you said the 80's were bearable, plus it will give them something to talk about." She smirks.

"I guess we are ready now."

"As ready as we'll ever be." She grins back.

My hand snakes around her hip and we start down the stairs. I grip her tightly due to the very likely possibility that she could slip and tumble down the stairs.

I feel six sets of eyes burning through us. Six? So Carlisle and Esme would be joining in this spectacle. Every couple snuggles closely on our various couches. All I can hear coming from their minds is the finale of _Les Miserables. Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men. It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again. _This is going to be frustrating.

I sit first on a loveseat obviously saved for us. Bella goes to sit beside me put I take her hand and pull her down so she us sitting directly on my lap. I am trying to project an air of sexual confidence for Bella's sake. Even if just the contrary is true for the both of us.

My hands make a familiar cage around her, as if to shield her from the piercing questions to come.

"So, would one of you like to begin?" I snap at them.

"_You know Edward, you can pretty damn intimidating when you want to."_ My mind is suddenly so protective of Bella, I cannot discern whose thought it is.

Carlisle speaks first, "I feel as a doctor that I should ask that Bella is alright from a medical standpoint."

"Of course she is! You know that I would never hurt her." I growl at Carlisle.

"I know you would not intentionally harm her, I just want to hear it from Bella."

"I'm fine Carlisle." She sheepishly states it into my chest. I squeeze her hand in reassurance. Seems the confident Edward and Bella that we had been upstairs were nowhere to be found.

"Okay, with that out of the way, onto the real questions." Rosalie grins evilly. "So Bella, did you fake it?" I feel my face turn about 5 shades whiter than it already is.

"Fake what?" Bella's innocence radiates from her curious eyes, as she looks to me for an answer. Everyone but Esme, Carlisle, Bella and myself effectively bursts into a hysterical fit of laughter. Bella buries her face into my chest farther, and I cradle her to me.

When Rosalie is finally able to speak, she stammers out, "Y-your orgasm. Did you fake it?"

Bella's face becomes appalled, "Of course not! Why on earth would I do something like that?"

"Well if Edward was not 'hitting the spot' and you were tired, maybe you just faked it so you could get to sleep."

My face burns with anger at my sister's suggestion that I could not please my Bella. "I will have you know that I am _tremendously _sure that Bella received full pleasure from me last night."

"Eww Edward, I did not need you to tell me that." Jasper's face scrunches in repulsion at the thought of me naked.

"Shit Bella! Really? Because I bet Jasper my Jeep that Edward couldn't make you scream _that_ loud."

By this point I am practically foaming at the mouth.

"Christ Edward! Calm down. Just take it as a compliment."

I feel slight vibrations run through my chest. I look down to comfort my crying Bella only to find that she is laughing. At _me. _

I take her cue and decide to lighten the mood, "I cannot take all of the credit, Bella did her part also." Bella slaps my chest at the admission.

"Back to the questioning!" Alice shouts. "Did you break any furniture?"

"Hm, the bed is still in one piece but I do not know how much longer it will last at the rate Bella and I are going." I muse confidently.

"Again eww." Emmet mutters.

"Can I take Bella to the kitchen? She has not eaten any food since last evening."

"Fine, it just gives us time to polish our questions. And no more than 30 minutes!"

"Come on Bella."

We walk to the kitchen which is on the other side of the house from the family room. I ask Bella, "What do you want for breakfast love?" I go to the cupboard anticipating she will say Cheerios.

I feel her hand grab my ass, "All I want right now is you Edward."

(A/N: Sorry it's a bit cliffy and cheesy. I'll update as soon as I can. Answer truthfully, was it funny? At all? So please REVIEW! You don't even know how I check my email compulsively waiting for reviews.)


	4. Somewhere Only We Know

(A/N: You guys were so awesome about reviewing I tried to crank this chapter out as soon as I could

(A/N: You guys were so awesome about reviewing I tried to crank this chapter out as soon as I could! Will Edward and Bella have a quickie in the kitchen? I guess you'll just have to read to find out. If any of you have suggestions for possible lemons or the storyline in general, feel free to tell me. I'm trying to figure out what time period I set this in. I'm thinking, after Bella's 18th birthday when they are seniors.)

_**Somewhere Only we Know – Keane**_

_**I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete**_

Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?

_I feel her hand grab my ass, "All I want right now is you Edward."_

She was being so aggressive, and it was _really _turning me on. But regrettably now is not the moment.

My own self-control astounds me at times.

I spin around quickly and pin he arms at her side, "Bella. We are _not _having quickie sex in my family's kitchen while they are waiting in the living room for us." I sternly articulate it to her.

She pouts out her lower lip and gives me a dissatisfied look. "I offer you a quickie in the kitchen and you turn me down. Edward, what kind of man-vampire are you?"

I return to the cabinet and begin to pour a bowl of cereal for her, knowing I will win this dispute. "A respectable gentleman who does not screw the love of his eternal life against a refrigerator." I stick a spoon in it and hand the bowl to her.

She snatches it out of my hands and pivots, eating furiously while still walking to the island's eating bar. I rest my elbows on the granite and stare at her while she devours the soggy, unappetizing contents of the bowl.

"Why are you eating so quickly? Alice is not expecting us back for another 20 minutes."

"Because the sooner I finish with this, the sooner we can finish answering their stupid questions. And then we can be _alone._"

"If we go back to my room and proceed to carry out what you are thinking, we face only more cross-examination." I point out to her.

"I never said it had to be in your room, or this house for that matter."

"Bella just eat. I am almost curious to see what foolish questions they will come up with." Her sex drive is going to be hard to keep up with if she continues going like this. Not that I cannot handle it.

"I'm done." She hands me the bowl. I wash it out and set it in the sink.

"Let us begin our death march back to the living room." I joke with her before setting my arm across her shoulder and we leave the kitchen.

The sight that meets us in the living room is comical in some strange way. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all sit on the floor, in something resembling a pow-wow. Carlisle whispers in to Esme's ear and she swats his shoulder, "Carlisle, not now! Especially since Edward is in the room." Even though Carlisle and Esme are only my adoptive parents, it still disturbs me deeply to think of their "intimate encounters". It was not an obvious humor, Bella did not pick up on it.

"May we finish this now? Bella and I have school tomorrow and would like to enjoy our Sunday together."

"Whatever Edward, but you and Bella are not allowed to 'enjoy' the rest of your day in this house. Find somewhere else to do that." Alice pops her head out of the tight knit circle long enough to mock us before ducking back in.

"Alright, BREAK!" Emmett yells before everyone returns to their respective couches.

We both still stand in the doorway, her hand slides down my arm, her hand gripping mine when she reaches it. She leads me to the couch and whips me down before dropping on my lap. She nuzzles a little to close into it. A low "uf!" barely escapes my lips, but vampire hearing can detect it.

"Woah Eddie. Keep it in your pants 'till our little meeting is over, comprende?" Emmett says, faking seriousness.

"Emmett, be quiet! So, Jasper informed us of some _feelings _coming from the kitchen, care to elaborate?" Rosalie speaks to us for the first time this morning.

"Well Edward just looked so sexy making cereal, I had to make a move."

_Wait to go Bella!_ My inner-self cheers ecstatically for the fierce defense of our privacy.

"Oh," Alice looks disappointed, "I thought something interesting might have happened."

"No, it was just Edward and his prudish ways." Emmett sighs.

"Emmett, shut up! Some people have real questions." She glares at him before continuing, "Bella? Did it, um. Did it hurt?" Rosalie looks directly at Bella, lacking the maliciousness that all the others conveyed in their questioning. The question makes sense coming from Rosalie. Her first experience was brutally taken from her, she relived it nearly every day after her transformation until she met Emmet. I relived it with her, every time. The pain and the shame that came to her, it was almost too much for me to bear just from the memory.

"Well, yeah it did for a little while, but since Edward was there with me, I could ignore it kind of." Bella chooses her words carefully, also aware the motive behind this question.

"Thanks." Rosalie whispers, looking genuine.

"After that I feel like an asshole asking my question." Emmett says to the ceiling.

"Fine, then make it the last one." Bella's suggestion in combination with her subtle grinding was making a drive by ourselves sounds very alluring.

"Now this is more of a request from all of this to the both of you." Carlisle speaks frankly at me.

"Keep it in your room!" Jasper blurts out.

"Thank you Jasper. You two are free to leave now." Carlisle shoos us away. He is almost able to completely shield his thoughts of Esme from my mind.

"You do not have to ask us twice." I get up keeping Bella in front of me. I hope it looks like I am just affectionately walking with her, because right now I am using her to hide my erection.

"Let's go." I murmur into her neck.

"Take the Aston Martin, I want to get there fast." She whispers back.

We are in the garage and I grab the rarely used keys off their rack. "You know where we are going?" I ask expecting an answer, this is not a rhetorical question.

"No, but you'll figure something out." Damn, she wants me to think on my feet.

Uh, um ,er. Nothing. My mind is absolutely blank. I run through my options. I am not making love to Bella in a car, at least not yet, so that is out. We cannot go back to her house, Charlie may be fishing but for how long? Where else is there to go?

_The meadow _my mind whispers. _Perfect_.

Bella looks so sexy sitting in this fast car, waiting for me to speed off somewhere so I can ravish her. _Fuck_. I put the Vanquish in reverse, and hear the tires screech as I exit our long wooded driveway. I push 170 as we race down the deserted road.

"Mm Edward, I wanted you so badly that entire time. And after what you did to me the kitchen, I felt like I was going to burst." Out of the corner of my eye I see her hand run up her thighs until she strokes herself through her pants.

"And then when we were walking out, don't lie to me Edward, I _know_ you were feeling the exact same way."

"Bella," I groan in frustration, "Can you wait until we get there _please_? You are making it hard to drive."

"Well that depends. How far away are we?"

"We are here." I smirk, proud of my parking skills. She has to admit 170 to 0 and she did not notice, that is pretty good.

"I was hoping we would come here." She smiles at me. Inside I feel like fireworks are going off, I would go to the ends of the earth to make her smile.

I slide out of the low riding car and almost pull a Dukes of Hazzard move I am so anxious to get to her. Her door pops open and I grab her and pull her onto my back.

Vampire speed seems entirely too slow as I dash through the trees. The clearing is coming up as the forest thins out. Bella quickly squeezes my neck with her arms, I can feel her smile alongside my ear.

The sun peaks out in spots through the clouds. I would not sparkle like a disco ball today, I would only shimmer.

Bella releases and drops quietly to her feet. I turn around and cup the side of her face, stroking my thumb across her cheekbone. The wisps of her hair dance in the breeze and her eyes glitter in the new sun. I realize that I can never find joy in existence if I do not see her shining face every day.

I bend my neck and meet her lips. I feel like I am spilling my soul into her mouth. All my insecurities, doubts, fears and most of all my _love _for her. We stand in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by the grass, flowers and weeds.

_Edward, you are such a dipshit! _My mind screams at me. I am right, Bella would not enjoy what we have come here to do if her back was scratching against the pine needles. The debris on the ground would not harm me, but I hate watching Bella exert so much effort while she is on top. I am _old-fashioned_ and feel that it is my duty to do the work for the both of us.

I guess we will just see where this goes. Maybe I can just hold her in my arms. That activity would not upset me. Now Bella, that is another story.

While in my mental tirade, Bella notices my passion decreasing.

'Something wrong?" Her hands grip around my waist, she leans back her chest, pushing her hips further against the beginnings of my erection.

"Do you really want to do this outside, on the damp, dewy ground?" I ask her, trying to make it sound as disgusting as possible. The idea of just cradling her in my arms and caressing her face with my fingertips was sounding particularly appealing.

I can only imagine what Emmet would say if he knew what I was thinking, "Goddammit Edward! _I just wanna cuddle with Bella. _Why do you always have to be such a pussy? Your woman has needs now _fulfill them!_"

"You don't like it when I'm on top?" Bella looks dejected. I guess that means _she_ likes it.

"I just hate seeing you work so hard. In this situation, is that not my job?"

"Whatever Edward, I know you will figure something out." Her hands dig into my back pockets, grabbing at my ass. I pull her tighter to my chest as her neck cranes up to meet our lips. I play with the band of her sweatpants, running the back of my fingers along her lower back.

She pulls down the zipper of her hoody, revealing her plain black bra. Now I wish I would have selected one of the racier options in the underwear drawer, but the damned contraption would soon be ripped off any way.

Her hands clutch at the hem of my shirt and she yanks it upward.

"Arms, Edward." She mutters, seems I was so enthralled I did not notice the gentle fabric pushing upward on my extended arms. I stick them straight up and she pulls it off and tosses it somewhere in the tall grass.

I pull her pants and underwear down in one motion, my fingers follow the swell of her hip downward. Her pants pool around her feet, leaving her in only a black bra.

I can tell she feels awkward in this state of undress. I heave the bra over her head, not wanting to fumble with that damned clasp.

I hitch her leg around my hip, and draw her closer, dropping my head to suck on her breasts.

"Mm, _Edward._"The sound of my name on her lips was pure bliss. Her other leg wraps around me, locking her ankles behind my back.

_Ah, so this is how it is going to work. My vampire strength seems principally practical right now._

I absolutely attack her breasts with my mouth, making sure that my teeth are no part of the fun. Her delicate hands interlace in my hair, tugging and pulling at the roots.

My hands are fully grasped around the bottom of her tight little ass. I feel that, that part of her anatomy is underappreciated, so I begin to knead it. Carefully of course, I would not want to scare her.

"Ah!" Her back arches to an excruciating degree, pushing her farther into me.

I feel her excited, uncovered sex rubbing against my still clothed bulge.

"Put your arms around my neck." I grunt quickly. She complies and I grope at the button of my jeans. My fingers "accidentally" brush against her wet center while I undo my pants. They drop around my feet, and I am freed. The head of my length now slides against her outer lips.

"Ooooh!" Her moaning blows into my ear, chilling my ice cold body further. "Edward. _Ah_, why do you always, _oh_, tease me?"

"I tease you because, when you finally get it, it feels all the better." I murmur that into her ear a second before I plunge into her. "Ooom." Her moan turns into mumbling as she bites down on her lip.

So here I stand in the middle of _our_ meadow, bouncing Bella on my erection while her legs are coiled around my hips. I could come just at the thought of it. Her arms still wrap around my neck, I can hear our bear skin slap together. Her breasts against my chest, and her ass against my thighs. My hands are on her hips, picking her up and slamming her down against me in time with my thrusts.

As we both get even closer, I lean back attempting to get more leverage, and Bella clutches closely to my chest. The side of her face, flat alongside my pec. As my groaning increases in volume, I feel her reach out to bite on my nipple.

"Arghhh! Bella!" I feel my thrusts approaching vampire speed. I exert all of my unused concentration on not letting myself fall over the edge. Not going to fast and shattering her pelvis into a million pieces, not gripping her waist too tightly and causing internal injuries. And not giving myself to her as I truly want to.

"Edward, ahh, I'm so close!" Her back arches and she leans away from me. Her hands go to my hair again and she holds on for her dear life as her orgasm _rocks_ her.

"Ahhhhhh!!" Her screams ricochet through the forest, I feel like hikers up in the mountains could hear her. As her orgasm fades mine is just beginning. "Ugh, Bell-uh!!" My guttural grunts just as deafening but about two octaves deeper. My final thrust stays within the unbearable heat and she grinds down as I spill into her.

Bella unlocks her feet, and drops her legs. Her body suspended in the air by my semi-hard cock and my loosening grip. As I soften further, she slides down her eyes remain on me.

"So did you like it? Because you know I am keeping a mental archive of your favorite positions." I murmur at her hairline.

"That one was definitely nice. You said you're keeping an archive? That makes it sound like it will be pretty extensive."

"As large as you want it, love." I whisper into her forehead.

"Mm, I love you." Her hands take a familiar position on my waist and her head lies on my shoulder.

"Saying that I love you Bella, would be a gross understatement." My lips are now just centimeters away from hers I punctuate my profession with a kiss.

"As much as I would like to remain her with you completely naked, maybe we should get dressed as to do something productive with our Sunday." I pick my head up and look down at her.

"I guess, but I'm not completely opposed to the first option." Her hands strokes my spine, setting each vertebrae ablaze with her touch.

"Bella do not fight. Because, regardless of what I say, you always wear me down. Last night being the prime example." My fingers thread through the hair laying on her shoulder.

"Well Edward, you're just so persuasive, most of the time I forgot what I began fighting for in the first place."

"I promise today will still be enjoyable, even if we are both clothed." I repeat that mantra in my head. Replaying the events of the last 12 hours, I had a let a sexual animal out to play, and I am not sure I want Bella to see that side of me very often. Bella is not acting completely as herself either. A dynamic in our relationship has changed, and while we are closer physically, mentally we are disconnected.

I miss holding Bella and _thinking_. Thinking about her, and what she needs me to do for her. How I need to protect her, how I need love her, how truly, I need to leave her. But as shown by the past night, I am a much too selfish creature to do that for her.

(A/N: So how was it? I'm so sorry I couldn't post this sooner, it is just school is devouring my life. I spend 11 and a half hours a day there. I arrive at 7 for litmag meetings and leave at 6:30 after the musical rehearsal and volleyball practice are over and _then_ I do my homework. So extremely crazy day!! I think I am going to reflect more on Edward's darker thoughts more often. The lemons will still be coming strong promise.

REVIEW please!! I check my email from my phone all day, just waiting for reviews!!)


	5. Monsoon

(A/N: So I said that Edward would be reflecting on his darker thoughts more often, which in NO way means his sexual thoughts of Bella will disappear

(A/N: So I said that Edward would be reflecting on his darker thoughts more often, which in NO way means his sexual thoughts of Bella will disappear. Edward is a complex and internally torn character (despite what my English teacher may tell me). His love of Bella, his hate for himself, and his need for her body, all clashing continuously. I write a lot of Edward's thoughts just to understand the character I am "creating" and how he is similar or different from Stephenie Meyer's Edward. As for my song choice, just think of the monsoon referring to the struggle that Edward and Bella are now entering to have a fulfilling relationship both sexually and psychologically.)

Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_

_**Monsoon – Tokio Hotel**_

_**I'm staring at a broken door**_

_**There's nothing left here anymore**_

_**My room is cold, it's making me insane**_

_**I've been waitin' here so long**_

_**But now moment seems to've come**_

_**I see the dark clouds comin' up again**_

_**Running through the monsoon**_

_**Beyond the world**_

_**Til' the end of time**_

_**Where the rain won't hurt**_

_**Fighting the storm**_

_**Into the blue**_

_**And when I lose myself I'll think of you**_

_**Together we'll be running somewhere new**_

_**Through the monsoon**_

_**Just me and you**_

_**A halfmoon fading from my sight**_

_**I see your vision in its light**_

_**But now it's gone and left me so alone**_

_**I know I have to find you now**_

_**Can hear your name and don't know how**_

_**Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?**_

_**Running through the monsoon**_

_**Beyond the world**_

_**Til' the end of time**_

_**Where the rain won't hurt**_

_**Fighting the storm**_

_**Into the blue**_

_**And when I lose myself I'll think of you**_

_**Together we'll be running somewhere new**_

_**And nothing can hold me back from you**_

_**Through the monsoon**_

_**Hey!**_

_**Hey!**_

_**I'm fighting all it's power coming in my way**_

_**Let it take me straight to you,**_

_**I'll be running night and day**_

_**I'll be with you soon**_

_**Just me and you**_

_**We'll be there soon**_

_**So soon**_

_**Running through the monsoon**_

_**Beyond the world**_

_**Til' the end of time**_

_**Where the rain won't hurt**_

_**Fighting the storm**_

_**Into the blue**_

_**And when I lose myself I'll think of you**_

_**Together we'll be running somewhere new**_

_**And nothing can hold me back from you**_

_**Through the monsoon**_

_**Through the monsoon**_

_**Just me and you**_

_**Through the monsoon**_

_**Just me and you**_

The meadow is a place where my thoughts are free to wander. No annoying jabbering about unimportant gossip as I hear all day at that hell they call high school. No Emmett and Rosalie constantly fantasizing about each other. _Nothing. _Pure, untainted silence. No one ever comes near this part of the immense forest of the Olympic Peninsula, Bella does not know how fully alone we really are. And how susceptible she is to me.

Bella's mind is unfortunately a perpetuated vault. Within that vault lie the secrets that I would surrender my damned existence for. I am sure that my constant grumbles of, "What are you thinking?" perturb her slightly, but it is frustrating. Imagine that when you talk to people, they always look you square in the eye. Their eyes express to you things that their words cannot. But in this hypothetic situation, Bella never "looks me in the eye" I feel our interactions are never fully completed. Bella is always hiding something from, whether she means to or not.

"You're quiet." She states it. I do not know if she is angry or curious, I must interpret what she gives to me. My train of thought is thrown off by Bella zipping up her newly located hoodie. Dissatisfaction washes over me as the black bra that _I _selected for her this morning is consumed by the blue velour.

"I am just thinking," and then I tell the truth for what seems like the first time since we had sex, "about you."

"Well, what about me?" We stand a yard away from each other, our stance is so confrontational. God, what have I done?

"So many things that I could not convey to you even if you were able to read my mind." My feet tread through the weeds, if we are so disengaged mentally, being apart from her physically is too much for the self-absorbed monster within me to bear. I hold her close to me laying my head on top of hers as hers pushes against my chest. Hugging her to me like I will never be able touch her again. "I love you more than you can ever dream Bella, _please_ promise to me that you will never forget that."

My words scream for the old Bella lingering in the middle of her brain, not yet shoved to the rear by the lusting beast I have created.

"Edward," Her whisper is so low my vampire hearing can barely distinguish it, "Do you regret what we did?" Her voice breaks slightly, as she is on the verge of tears. I feel warm wetness seep through my shirt, as her eyes begin to swell. She does not even attempt to look at me, her face remains stolid and her eyes distant.

Before I may answer that question for her, I must answer it for myself. Do I regret what I did? I do not regret the act we committed, I can assure her of that much. But do I regret what it has turned us into? Two individuals seemingly only connected to each other by carnal desires. I grieve over that loss of intellectual intimacy. I will tell her a half truth for now, until _I_ am sure of what regret and what I do not.

"Bella I have been wanting to give my self to you for so long, what we did was right."

"Then act like it." Her words stab at me, they are cold and unfeeling, very similar to me in a twisted way. I have no idea what to do now, do I hold her tighter? Do I verbally respond to her challenge? I will take her back to her house, maybe the white noise of others' thoughts can distract me until I am ready to face my thoughts.

I turn around and she takes the hint to jump on my back. Our journey back through the forest barely seems like a jog to me, my mind and body are so out of tune with each other.

We reach the car and I open her door as she slides off my back. She plunks down onto the seat and looks straight ahead, her eyes do not follow me as I walk around the hood. I also unceremoniously drop like a rock onto the leather of my seat and put the Vanquish in reverse. I do not turn on Claire de Lune to ease the tension, I do not look over and try to speak to her and I do not release my iron grip on the steering wheel. I simply concentrate on driving, hands in the 10 and 2 position, eyes on the road and no distractions.

As we drive into the town of Forks, my speed reduces and the need to get out of the car increases. The need not to breathe is an ever more useful ability, as Bella is solely exhaling hostility.

Her street comes into view and I flick my turn signal, worried that Charlie is lurking in his patrol car in the shadows, waiting to arrest me on any mundane charge. I fluidly pull the vehicle onto the gravel of the driveway, and hear the tires crunch and the undercarriage being bombarded by bouncing debris.

Despite the ever present resentment, I stick to my gentlemanly ways, hoping that if I act like my previous self, Bella will adopt the same idea. I circle around the rear of the car, not being able to face her frigid glare. I arrive at the passenger door only to find despite my vampire speed, Bella has already gotten herself out of the car and through the front door of her house.

Charlie has not arrived home yet so I may enter without questioning, until I reach Bella's room that is.

The wooden railing slides under my hand, I barely touch it, fearing that it will splinter into million pieces. I have an uncanny ability to crack perfectly strong things lately. The doorknob feels like clay in my grip, my hyper sensitive emotions are making it hard to control my movements. I hear weeping through the thin door, and it is _my _fault. The door opens on what seems like its own accord.

Bella is balled up in the fetal position on the bed, resting her head against the wall. She is as far away as she can possibly be from me in this room. I pace to the bed, I do not want to start apologizing, or questioning or answering. I just want to _hold _her. Hold like I did before this hell I started began. Hold her like I never have to let go.

The springs of the mattress squeak under my newly added weight. I sit so close I am almost touching her, but we are still separated by milimeters. Sensing my presence she falls back onto my chest, a familiar position that makes my heart want to beat for the first time in 90 years. I hold her head in my hand against my chest, stroking her hair as lightly as I can. My other hand is gripped on her wrist as hers is on mine.

"Shh, sh, sh, sh." I quiet her soft sobbing and pull her hair behind her ear. She coughs up the air that gets stuck in her throat as she struggles to control her breathing.

We lie here in her bed until I see the sun begin to set through the window opposite of the bed. I had stopped counting the time after three hours. Three hours of my silence and Bella's low whimpering as her sobs are still not wholly suppressed. Three hours of clutching to each other tightly, searching for who and what we used to be. We both try so hard but do not know the person lying next to us any better than when we started.

I _need _to have any kind of link to Bella right now, and if we can only connect sexually, for now that will have to do.

My hand moves from her hair to the line of her jaw, stopping at her chin. I lift her head so our eyes meet. Remaining silent, our lips crash together and my body rolls over hers. The soft fabric of the jacket is only an obstacle. I pull the obnoxious zipper down and do not bother to even take it off. I forgo the hassle of her bra, and simply grab her breast and heave them out of their cups. My worship of them begins just as hastily, I marvel at how quickly her pert nipples harden within my fingers' grip. My mouth goes to nibble on the delicious center of her breast.

"Uh, ooh." Bella lifts her hips and attempts to pull mine down onto her.

My head snaps up and a glance to the window, as I think hear an intruder. No nothing just an branch in the autumn wind.

My no longer distracted mind is now allowed to see my body detached from itself. Honestly, it is revolted at what it finds.

A sex crazed animal hovering over an innocent angel that he had corrupted, perhaps beyond repair not even 24 hours ago. This monster had not even taken the time to remove the angel's clothes he had simply moved them aside to reach his egocentric goals as soon as he could. Attacking her when she needed him to hold her and apologize and love her like he did before.

Wait, why am I doing this? I made a vow never to take Bella's body simply to satisfy lustful desires. So what is my reasoning? I do not have any justifiable motives.

"Bella, I have to leave you now. I will be by to pick you up tomorrow." I kiss her cheek chastely and cannot even make eye contact with her. Because I am dirt, absolute _shit _I do not even deserve to look her in the eye.

Though Charlie has not yet returned, I exit through the window, needing to separate myself from all things that can remind me of Bella. I land with a thud, displacing a large amount of leaves, and leaving what looks like a small meteor crater in her front yard. The Vanquish glows in the moonlight _just as she does_. I am still conscious of movements, as not to crush the door handle as I get in. I inhale deeply, expecting the scent of Australian leather and rare rainforest paneling to clear my senses. Instead Bella's aroma floods into my sinuses. I cough like a human who has just swallowed too much water. I need to clear myself of her. I roll all my windows down and speed the scenic route back to my house.

I pull into the garage next to Carlisle's new Maserati. After pulling the keys out of the ignition I throw back my head on the headrest, staring at nothing except the suede roof of the car. Trying to think about nothing, and failing miserably.

How could I just leave her there like that? Alone and totally exposed.

I left her.

The one thing I promised to her I would never do.

And right before leaving her, I told her that I would be by tomorrow, like I am asking her to act like nothing happened after I deserted her.

I drag my heavy body out of the low sports car. Throwing the keys to the Vanquish in the general direction of the rack we have set up for our car keys. The door from the garage spits me out into the living room, which seems like the only place my family lives in our enormous house.

"Ah, Edward is home. No wonder I feel like a bag of shit." Jasper turns his head in my direction but I know he cannot actually see me.

"Did Alice tell you something or did you just assume that I am an asshole?" Either way he is right.

"Go ask Alice. You're shitting up this room with your unstoppable emo-ness." Emmet is playing that goddamn video game, Halo.

Angels like Bella have halos. Unless you have taken it into your greedy palms and ripped apart like I have.

"Where is she?" I pinch at the bridge of my nose.

"Where do you think she is Edward?" Jasper sounds irritated.

Right, her closet.

I kick off my sneakers before bounding up the stairs. Esme would have a shit fit if I got dirt on her precious, Persian rug.

Alice's thoughts were some shallow, incoherent mumbling of "_hm… t-strap? No. my legs would look about 5 inches long."_

How could such an intelligent thoughtful, creature be so preoccupied by such superficial matters?

"Alice, I need to talk to you" I sink down and sit against the wall opposite of her bed. She emerges from the fifth bedroom she had converted into a closet.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" Her eyebrows shift curiously.

"Because Alice, I am worthless piece of shit."

"Edward stop being so melodramatic." She plops down on her bed and proceeds to lie on her stomach and prop her head up in her hands.

"What is with the sleep over confessional?" That is the only attempt at humor my fucked up mind can make at this point.

"I know what you came to ask me Edward."

_Of course she did_. "So can you just give me an answer then?"

"I am afraid I cannot."

"Why the hell can you not tell me? If you know the answer to my question, you know now is not the time to screw with my head."

"If I tell you, you will change your plans and ruin everything."

"Well it is nice to know I have not ruined everything already."

"Just keep doing exactly what your mind tells you, that is how you got into this mess, and it is how you are going to get out of it."

"Thank you, I guess."

I return to my room and fall back onto my bed. Another item that _reeks _of Bella.

I go to my stereo and look through my cds. My first two choices are Rise Against and 30 Seconds to Mars. Even I know how stereotypical it would be to play either of those bands in this situation, so I put them back.

It is moments like these when I wish for human things like sleep. Sleep permits people to escape the scrutiny of their conscious minds. But being the eternally damned creature I am, if there is a God, he will not provide me with that luxury.

So I am left to swim in the boundless ocean of my head, my thoughts attacking me like a swarm of sharks. And I am not really sure if Bella is at the surface waiting for me to come up, or at the bottom waiting to drag me down.

(A/N: So how did you like it? I just couldn't put a lemon in this chapter, it didn't feel right yet. I know it got darker fairly quick but I _**promise **_to you Edward will not leave Bella. I just felt I owe it to all of you to say that. I just got an iPhone (yay!) which only matters to you because I will be able to check and reply to my email all day. So please _**REVIEW**_ I will be able to respond you as soon as I can )


	6. Closer

(A/N: Um WOW

(A/N: Um WOW. That's all I can say. I received 1,300 hits on this story in 1 day. That is truly unbelievable. Unfortunately the amount of reviews was _much _lower. Sorry I took a week to update. I was on a team building retreat for three days and was not able write.  Although I was totally ready to emo it up for another chapter, a lot of you said that I absolutely _**had**_ to lighten this chapter. While I'm sorry I nearly depressed you, making people actually feel something through writing is an author's ultimate goal. I was so glad to hear that my writing drew emotions. So please keep up your _**REVIEWING**_ because it only makes this a better story for you to read.)

_**Closer – The Kings of Leon**_

_**Stranded in this hoogie town,  
Stop right this way  
And then the phone lines are down  
Snow is crackling cold,  
She took my heart, I think she took my soul  
With the moon I run,  
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun**_

Drivin' by the strangle of vain  
Showin' no mercy I'll do it again  
Open up your eyes  
You keep on crying, baby I'll kill you dry  
Skies are beneath me  
I see a storm bubbling up from the sea

And it's coming closer 

_**And it's coming closer**_

You sh-sh-shock my bones,  
Leavin' me stranded all in love on my own  
What do you think of me?  
Where am I now, baby where do I sleep?  
Feels so good when I'm home  
2000 years of chasing takin' it's toll

And it's coming closer 

_**And it's coming closer**_

_**And it's coming closer**_

_**And it's coming closer**_

There are few ways I can rid my mind of Bella. They are my forms of detox because she is such an addictive drug. Calling her my heroin is the understatement of the century. And I have been around long enough to judge.

I lie on the white shag rug on my floor, because it is the only thing that does not reek of her. A very pitiful sight it is, I am on my back and stare at ceiling for 5 hours. I must consciously think about my unnecessary breathing to busy my mind.

_In through the nose, fill my diaphragm. Hold it 1..2..3, exhale . Push the air out quickly through your mouth, repeat. _

For five hours, that is the only way I cannot think of her.

I must tell her today. Tell her what I discovered about myself yesterday. Give her an unfiltered version of my mind. Maybe I can tell her that I am an atrocious monster and she will finally believe me. I owe her so much more than I can ever provide.

The clock on my nightstand now stands at 3:36, the most dead time of the night. Those ridiculous nightclubs that Alice drags me to every few years are closed. The drunk horny and obviously rejected boys stagger out to go home and eat an entire pizza by themselves. And the more drunk, probably underage girls, kiss each other on the sidewalk attracting whatever attention they can from said dejected boys. The responsible fitness freaks have not woken up yet to jog their 8 miles before going home to chug some terrible protein shake. Yes, reading minds as a vampire can again reassure you how inhuman you really are.

I heave my stone body off of the floor and stumble to the bathroom, another place permanently etched with Bella. The physical evidence may have washed away but my goddamned, crystal clear vampire memory pulls the moment up again.

_My fingers curl up within her trying to reach the elusive spot that women lament about in their minds. My pace increases and I am fairly sure I have found it. She moans my name in unadulterated ecstasy._

**Stop it.**

I t seems that my brain has deviated itself into two parts. One that claws at the remnants of my formally whole, rational mind. Another that is waiting to fall into the abyss, and give into my lewd fantasies, wrenching Bella down with me.

I walk to the glass shower, the bathroom is illuminated only by the light of the waning moon.

I only turn the "cold" water on, fearing that feeling of heat running over my body will feed the monster inside. I can only imagine what Bella thinks of me now, and I cannot even fathom how she feels about herself. After my frigid behavior she probably blames her own actions, when quite the opposite is true.

_I _was the one who initiated this. _I_ was the one who took her virginity without actual permission. _I_ was the one who did this to the both of us.

There will be no more secrets from her. My mind will be open encyclopedia of information for her. No more lies. I will no longer think about "nothing" as I always tell her.

I forget the water streams down my body. It is the same temperature as my body, and my granite skin cannot sense the insignificant droplets of water that bombard it. I grab the shampoo and squirt it into my hand. I gently massage it into my scalp, replicating Bella's touch. I run my hands through it, stroking out the lather. Bella has never said anything, but I know she loves my messy hair. She plays with it and intertwines her fingers in it as much as she can.

I pick up the rank body wash, it is that shit that teenage boys douse themselves in to attract girls. This is Alice's device not mine. According to her Bella just raves about how good it smells. This will be another question that will be shared with her.

I rub my hands up and down my chest. I expect Bella to stay in the back of my mind, the freezing water and my rough motions are nothing like her. But as my hand scrubs across the plane of my lower abs, my cock twitches slightly, becoming less flaccid then it was before.

"Ugh." I am not supposed to be thinking about this right now. My confessions to Bella should be running across my mind now. My hand travels lower down my stomach, unable to suppress the fantasy that Bella is here in the shower with me.

_She stands in front of me, looking up with a blend of lust and innocence in her brown doe eyes The moonlight bathes her in an angelic glow against the black granite of the shower wall. I keep the water cold out of selfishness, her nipples erect fully before my eyes. The water funnels off of the tips, flowing like water falls down to our feet. She grinds her hips into my erection and runs her hands up and down my biceps. My hands however are currently palming her breast, marveling in their suppleness. The softness of her breast is pleasantly interrupted by her rock hard nipples. Her moans echo through the large shower as my fingers pinch at them. Our foreheads push together, separating our lips by mere inches. _

_She is unimaginably cruel, she rises to the balls of her feet and slips the head of my erection between her slick lips. _Only_ the head, leaving my body aching for more. But I will not take it, because if I take control right now Bella would no longer be human in three days time. I brace my self against the stone walls as she grinds over me. My entire lower body trembles, fighting my instincts as a man, not a vampire. She lowers herself ever so slightly, taking no more than my head within her. I use all of my concentration to stay vampire still as she rubs against me. I bend at the knee allowing her greater access to my hardness. She lowers herself fully down. "Mmmm." A soft moan flows from her mouth as she has to adjust to my size yet again. My palms stay firmly planted on the wall as Bella begins to pump and grind herself on me. The perfect stillness of my body is only intact because of what my mind is processing._

_Bella is _fucking_ me_.

_I am not making love to her. I am not in control. She is using me._

_And I love it._

The stirring thoughts of my family shock me into actuality as I realize that Bella's warmth is not sheathing my length, but it is my own hand. I drop it to my side, this act always seemed so pitiful to me. The point being, I believed that I would only make love to my lawful wife, as in she would be living with me and I could take her whenever I felt.

My reactivated 17 year-old hormones had effectively ruined that perfect vision.

"_Ugh, Bella's food is stinking up the house. Won't Edward just turn her so we can get this shit out?" _Emmet appears to have forgotten that I can hear his blabbering mind.

I am clean enough so I turn the stream of water off. My wet feet slap against the tile as I walk to my linen closet. The eerily familiar picture to yesterday morning when I grabbed a second towel for Bella, yet today I only take one. My towel is hardly needed. Water has a tendency to almost evaporate off of me, as naturally occurring things have an aversion to something as sinister as I.

Except _Bella._ Bella is truly supernatural. Nothing is supposed to be as beautiful and pure and loving as she is. They preach to humans that everyone is different, that no two people are the same, but I no longer believe that is true. The human race may be separated into two species now. The first being, the scum that have polluted this planet for the past 100,000 years. The second being, an exquisite angel named Isabella Swan.

I managed to kill an hour during that shower episode. I walk to the closet, another moment of deja-vu slams me. I throw on a pair of plaid boxers, a pair of light wash jeans and a t-shirt depicting a full transformers robot with the caption "You complete me." Resisting the urge to dress in head to toe black. I have to keep things light this morning if I want to convince Bella that I really feel good about the new level of our relationship.

I take the towel to my hair, unintentionally creating what countless women have referred to in their heads as, "sex hair". I muse if Bella has ever called it "sex hair" in her wonderful mind. Oh, how I wish she has.

I will be early this morning; our conversation is of dire importance. Four thirty in the morning on the Olympic coast is still pitch black.

My family says nothing to me as I plunk down the stairs. They have stopped fucking with my emotions and can sense how tense I am despite the relax position I try to portray. I feel like sprinting to the garage door to escape the awkward tension created by their conscious effort not to gawk at me as I march to a conversation that could change the rest of my immortal existence. I grab for the keys to my Volvo. Months of gripping them too hard has molded them to my fingers' grip. I am aware that the Volvo carries Bella's smell heavily, but it is almost like practice. Immersing myself in a dull resemblance of her aroma before diving headfirst into the inferno that is her engaging scent.

I drive at a relatively human pace since the roar of the Volvo's engine is amplified on Forks' deserted roads. I see the stirrings of life in a couple of houses on my way. Believe it or not, there are people who do not work in Forks, but choose to live here.

My heart swells as I take the familiar turn onto her street. I park on the corner, so the engine and the lights will not attract Charlie's attention. A foreign feeling of hope washes over me as I pull the key from the ignition. I push open the door and close it softly.

The dew is light on the grass tips, soon it would freeze before sunlight but summer has not released its grip entirely. I scale the siding of the house before reaching Bella's slightly cracked window. Fireworks go off internally as there was a small portion of my mind that expected the window to be locked and Bella to be remorseless of my disgraceful conduct.

The window now slides up without a sound. I informed Bella that her squeaky window had nearly alerted Charlie of our activities numerous times. Bella lies beneath her blue plaid comforter, even the small crack of the window made the room slightly cooler. I remove my shoes, I wish to lay with my Bella before apologizing to her. I can imagine she will be slightly agitated when she first sees me, but waking up with my arms around her has already proven to be quite persuasive.

I sink down to the bed pushing my chest against Bella's thickly covered back. The plush blanket hides the shape of her body from my cold arms. Her breath flutters across the white pillow, her jaw falls slightly slack revealing not only a row of straight, white teeth but how tranquil she is. Sometimes when I am around, she seems self conscious, which I constantly reassure her is ridiculous because I consider the most faultless creature on this earth. But seeing her in such an extreme condition of relaxation is high on my lists of reasons not to change her.

The back of her hand peaks out of the sea of plaid and I stick out a finger to stroke the smooth skin stretched over the delicate bones and tendons. Caressing her skin feels like petting a balloon. I know the smallest spike in pressure could fracture her thin skeleton. She has still not acknowledged my presence, however I know she is not ignoring me. Bella has never been good at deceiving me, especially when our skin comes in contact. We do not leave for school for another three hours, and I know my confession will not take that long but I need to see the light return to her eyes.

I channel a stream of cool air over her cheeks in short bursts. I do so for about a minute before her eyes start to twitch. The hand _I_ had been touching slides, across her cheek, searching for the invisible power that tickles her skin. Not finding the intruding force, her hand drops back down. Her arm pushes the navy blue fabric below her torso.

I am aware that her body has been fully exposed to my view before, but when her skin is barely hidden from my gaze, she is arguably _more_ seductive.

Goose bumps erupt in waves across her newly uncovered skin. I am still not able to see what pants she may be wearing, but I am sure that I will find them hideous since they hide her form from me further.

Her fingertips play with the seam at the top of her wife beater. Only then do I notice that her hard nipples seem like they could rip through the almost transparent material. Her hand brushes over the sensitive nerves, and a prolonged breath flows from her lips.

Seeing her pleasuring herself, even accidentally is more than I can process. My manhood immediately stands at full attention. _Shit! _I bet she can feel me. I do not mean to gloat, but it would be difficult for her to ignore me even through the thick layers of the comforter. She still is not _consciously_ teasing me. Her fingers circle around the hardened tips of her breast. Her whines are now audible, which draw similar sounds from my mouth. Her ass grinds back into mine, a natural reaction to her newfound pleasure.

I think the cold air on her skin must remind her of me, because the familiar dreamy moan of my name comes from her mouth, "_Edward." _I recognize the tone of this moan, I have learned it well during the past day. She drags the nail of her finger across her nipple arching her back slightly, a reflex to the pleasure she receives.

I should feel guilty about this. Bella is trying to have a private moment, and as usual I intrude and lurk over her. But she is so erotic, and the terrifying part is, she is not even trying.

My mouth falls into a small frown as her hand travels away from her breast and rests on her abdomen. I am trying to will her hand to travel lower, but alas, I am a mind reader not telekinetic.

"_Please Edward, why do you always stop?" _Perhaps this little show is not over. The Edward in her mind is playing his old role, the teaser. I recall many a time when I would play with her chest through the fabric of her shirts but then stop, because I simply could not go any further without losing control.

Bella rolls slightly so she is no longer on her side but on her back. I prop my head up on my hand and take a comfortable position to enjoy this performance. While getting into her new pose she has kicked off the remaining part of the blanket that covers her. I am pleasantly surprised to find that I quite like what hides her body from my sight. A pair of barely there lace panties. I growl yet again, struggling to quiet myself, not only from Charlie, but from Bella.

"_Please, Edward? I trust you. You won't hurt me." _I let out a frustrated sigh. Must she bring this up? My mind is catapulted back into unclouded thinking. I grab her hand as lightly as I can and pull it away from her body.

"Bella, I am here. You have no need to do this anymore." I murmur it louder than a whisper. Her eyes pop open at the first sound of my voice.

"Edward! What are you doing? What was I doing?" She speaks softly but it seems like it could explode into a scream at any moment.

"Well, you were _dreaming_ and I was _watching_." I trace patterns on her clothed stomach.

"Did you figure out what I was dreaming about?" Her question is laced with embarrassment, but she still does not think I _know _what she was dreaming of.

"I had a pretty good idea." I bring my hand higher and trace the indentations between her ribs. "Are you aware of the subject of your dream?" This is not a fair question, but I cannot resist.

"Um, we were both in it." She mumbles to the hair resting on her cheek.

"Well, I gathered that much. But I was not quite able to make out what we were doing." I cannot fight the smile that curls my lips.

"Edward! I was not. Was I?" She sits up and stares at me looking near mortified.

"Technically, you were not. I stopped you before it got to that point." My words drip with disappointment as I smirk down at her.

Her face contorts into an expression of tremendous confusion. "You, you _wanted_ to see me do **that**?"

Shit. Now she views me as a pervert. I thought I came to fix things, not make them worse. So here is my first opportunity to tell her the complete truth.

"Yes Bella, I _really _did want to see you pleasure yourself to thoughts of me. I must tell you that as of late I have resorted to the same tactics." I take her small chin in my fingers and force her to look at me while admitting sheepishly what I have thought and done.

She says nothing but briefly shuts her eyes and nibbles on her lips. "Mmm, tell me Edward." Her eyelids lift and she now appears like she would like to devour me whole.

I feel my Adam's apple bob as I gulp down a thick mouthful of venom. I strain to keep my voice at a stable tone. "We were in my shower. The water was frigid for you I could tell. Your nipples were firm but got even harder when I started to roll them in-between my fingers. You were rubbing yourself over my erection, but would not go any farther. I had to support myself against the wall of the shower, because the anticipation of the pleasure you were going to give me was just too much."

My hand has crept farther up her torso, I run my fingers along the under-curve of her breast. I am still amazed at how it hangs from her chest so perfectly.

"Ahh." A noise mixed with relaxation and arousal fills the room.

"Shh love. I am not done yet and I do not want Charlie to disrupt this." I punctuate my point by testing her restraint. I grab lightly at the portion of her breast that my hand entraps.

She nods her head eagerly and makes a showing of closing her mouth.

"As I was saying, you were being unfathomably malicious to me and my needs. You only took the head of my cock amid your outer lips and proceeded to leave it, there barely moving. I tried to coax you further by lowering my self and it seemed to work. You stood on the very tips of your toes and took me in an instant. I tried very hard not to smile as you took a minute to adjust to me yet again." I sigh as the enjoyable part is over. "And then I was disturbed by Emmett's ranting about how badly the food we keep at the house for you stinks to him." The summarized version I have given to her seems much lamer than the actual experience.

"Well we may need to finish that scenario sometime, don't you agree?' She slips into seductress mode and I find myself unhappy. I like toying with my virginal version of Bella, another example of how self-centered and controlling I am.

I lift myself from the bed and take her with me. We stand in the middle of her room my hands on her waist and hers on my forearms.

"Bella I need to talk to you. Let me rephrase that, I need to apologize to you." I say it so quickly, I am not sure she understands me.

She says nothing and huffs loudly.

"Ok," Maybe this would not go as well as I had thought after our little banter, "I took advantage of you and then blew up and stopped talking because I felt so guilty. Can we just put that behind us now?" I hold her head in my hands and touch our foreheads. "Because I miss you." At that I pull her face up to mine and bite on her bottom lip, while her hands tangle into my wild auburn hair. _Ha, I knew it! _

Pulling away ever so slowly, stretching her lip until my jaw lets go. Her hands are on my neck. "I missed you too Edward."

"Come on you need to get ready. I think I will wait here. Why don't you shower by yourself for now?"

She throws out a playful pout and kisses my lips quickly before sauntering down the hallway. Her hips roll from side to side. Silly Bella, she is pushing her luck.

"I know what you are doing Bella, and it is working!" I catch her ears right before she enters the bathroom. She responds with a small hip pop, which makes me nearly chuckle.

Another observation I make is she has not taken any clothing with her, which means she will come back in only her towel. I slump onto her bed and inhale her scent by way of her pillow, quivering in anticipation until she comes back.

A/N: How was it? I really hope you enjoyed it. A full fledged lemon WILL be coming! Hey, I am trying to keep some kind of literary integrity, and that means that if I, as an author, do not feel the characters I am writing are ready to have sex, they will not. (Expect one by next chapter though; it's going to be some sweet make-up sex.)

_**REVIEW PLEASE!!**_


	7. Feel Good Drag

(A/N: So the entire song makes no sense in this context but it was what I was listening to while I wrote

(A/N: I'm back again, hopefully you think that is a good thing. I'm sorry to say that you shouldn't expect updates more than once a week, usually on Mondays. _**REVIEW PLEASE!**_ So the entire song makes no sense in this context but it was what I was listening to while I wrote. I will bold out the lines that inspired me. Enjoy my Columbus Day gift to you. Because of the damn hurricane we have to make up days and I go to a private school that could cancel Christmas Vacation if they wanted to, so **no holiday for me – think Soup Nazi** )

_**"I'm here for you," she said  
and we can stay for awhile,**__  
my boyfriend's gone  
we can just pretend.  
__**Lips that need no introduction  
Now who's the greater sin  
**__Your drab eyes seem to invite  
__**(tell me darling) Where do we begin.**___

Was this over before...  
before it ever began?  
_**Your kiss, your calls, your crutch  
Like the devil's got your hand  
**_

_This was over before  
Before it ever began  
__**Your lips, your lies, your lust  
Like the devil's in your hands  
**__  
Everyone in this town  
is seeing somebody else  
Everybody's tired of someone  
our eyes wander for help  
__**Prayers that need no answer now  
I'm tired of who I am  
You were my greatest mistake  
I fell in love with your sin  
Your littlest sin  
**__  
Was this over before...  
before it ever began?  
__**Your kiss, your calls, your crutch  
Like the devil's got your hand  
**_

_This was over before  
Before it ever began  
__**Your lips, your lies, your lust  
Like the devil's in your hands  
**__  
Failure is your disease  
You want my outline drawn  
You were my greatest failure  
Discourse your saving song_

Was this over before...  
before it ever began?  
_**Your kiss, your calls, your crutch  
Like the devil's got your hand  
**_

_This was over before  
Before it ever began  
__**Your lips, your lies, your lust  
Like the devil's in your hands  
**__  
Was this over before...  
before it ever began?  
__**Your kiss, your calls, your crutch  
Like the devil's got your hand  
**_

_This was over before  
Before it ever began  
__**Your lips, your lies, your lust  
Like the devil's in your hands**_

If any one were to walk in at this moment, it would appear that I am smothering myself. Which might be in fact what I am trying to do. How can I ever describe how she smells?

May I quote my brain-dead classmates for a moment? _**Orgasmic**_. That is the only adjective that comes anywhere near describing how she smells to me.

The mix of her blood's aroma and her body's natural scent makes me involuntarily flinch from the pure pleasure every time she is near. Truth be told, I was too busy trying not pierce Bella's neck the first time I saw her, to notice that body was in a state of arousal. Vampire senses are not really that helpful, they normally just make you look like a freak.

My mind is pacing circles around my skull. I clearly hear the water striking the shower floor, but I swear I can faintly hear it slap against her skin.

No Edward, bad.

My inner monologue has been reduced to almost caveman language. Because, Bella is naked. In a shower. Right down the hall. Shall I conjure up my vision from just a few hours ago?

No Edward, still bad.

My big "pour my soul out" moment was sliced into barely a synopsis. I needed her so bad mentally I could not focus on explaining my atrocious actions. I had to spit it out and take her in.

And Bella's attention would not be as focused because of our "reconciliation". She will come in a tiny, tattered towel and with my luck she will probably decide to immediately sit down on my lap. While she is still _very _wet.

I will take control of this situation. For the first time in my existence I will consciously try to "dazzle" her, as I apparently do frequently without trying. I will "dazzle" her until she stands fully still and will not enact plans to seduce me, which would work straight away.

The water continues to beat down. _Patience is a virtue, _how many times have I said that? Yet hear I am, practically gnawing a hole in the feather pillow.

The water pressure drops and metal rings slide across the curtain rod. Her feet clump across the wooden floor, drawing ever closer to my uncontrolled 17 year old hormones and my 107 year old psyche, which are in total turmoil at the present. 

The door that has not been oiled in years creates a sound that is nearly agonizing to my acute hearing. I close my eyes as the noise pierces my thoughts. And I open them back up to the most sinful sight my eyes have ever taken in.

Bella stands in the doorway, slightly dripping, in a yellow towel that barely covers from an inch above her nipple to the very top of her fair legs. Beads of water are rolling down the swell of her breasts down into the cleavage created by the thin piece of cloth. Her hair is untamed mane yet to be brushed out, and she has the sexiest smirk on her face.

I almost told myself to breathe, but then I remember it would only make things worse.

I hold my breath and begin to feel my senses dull. _Perfect_.

"Bella," I whisper to demon in the doorframe, "I still have some issues that I need to resolve. Can you just cooperate this once and get dressed, I vow to make up to you, just listen for awhile." I plead to her, because while I may have uttered a complete, coherent sentence, my grip on my control and reality are slipping at an alarming rate.

She looks down at herself, probably feeling rejected and worthless. I am constantly such an insensitive prick to her. She goes into her closet and emerges in simple jeans and a red t-shirt, so pure and uncluttered.

I sit on her bed, near the foot leaning against the wall. She crawls on beside me and I pick her up to cradle her in my lap.

"All I told you was that I felt guilty, which could be one of the worst lies I have told you within the past two days."

Her face transforms into terror embodied. How do I figure out to say the exact wrong thing every time we speak?

"Saying I was guilty is a huge disservice to how much you mean to me. The things I contemplated doing to save your beautiful soul from the monster within me were just short of suicidal."

She sighed in relief.

"You were acting so different, and I did not know how to react and I thought I was losing you and I was just so frightened that I did not what to do and I tried to make it better by having more "physical" connection but then I just felt like a revolting animal and I left and I figured out what I had to do when I was gone so I came here and told you." I pant unnecessary breaths and realize that I just rambled on like some pathetic love-struck teenager.

And right now that is all I am.

I am not Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, the vampire who can read minds, has gone through medical school four times, learned all of the world's romance languages and composed more symphonies than Beethoven.

I am Edward, the deplorable excuse of a boyfriend to the most astounding being in this universe.

"I wanted things to go back to how they were. Believe me Bella, the new things we do together, they, they, they make me feel like I am human again," I throw a slightly ashamed but mostly teasing smile in her direction. "like I have a soul or a purpose, to make you happy. I just wanted to tell you that I am willing to whatever you want me to, to see you truly happy again. _Anything." _I run my fingers through her hair and expect her to say something, but she remains silent and glances up at me with an emotion I cannot comprehend.

"Edward, I'll tell you what I need you to do." Her words get trapped in her throat and she looks down at her knees. "I need you to love me." Her head pops up at the admission. The corners of her chocolate eyes glisten with tears she will not fall. "I don't need you to think about how you have "corrupted" me. I don't need you to disgrace yourself. I don't need you to do anything else but love me, accept me and keep me, _forever." _

Forever? I will be here, but will she?

_Of course she will! What are talking about?_

She is not a vampire.

_Yet._

I shake at the thought of Bella with violet eyes, lusting after the blood of the innocent.

Bella says no more picturing her as an incorruptible symbol of perfection, but what if she is?

She also requested that I stop believing that _I _had ruined her in some respect by giving into her demands. But what if I have?

Her last request was that I stop condemning myself for sins I have committed against us and our relationship, to stop associating myself with some sort of anti-Christ. But what if that is what I am?

"What did I say now?" Her tone teeters somewhere between aggravated with my over- analyzing and terrified that I might say exactly what se never wants to hear.

"I cannot the promise I can do any of those things for any amount of time, except love you, for always." I look into her eyes hoping she will understand. Hell, I do not even understand what I am thinking, how can she?

"But you are an already corrupted angel! I am horrible animal that deserves so much worse than its own self-deprecation! Why can you not see that? Why can you not just run from me and attempt to restore some of your innocence?" I grind my fangs together and hold an unbearable amount of tension in my neck. "I can promise I will love you until the end of eternity, but I can never promise I will never understand why you love me back."

I take her face in my hands and bring her to me. Our lips intertwine and we both pull back and push forward in perfect timing. I set her properly on her queen sized bed, and I kneel at the foot. I crawl my way up her body. The size of her bed will be helpful right about now.

_Shit, what time is it? 5:00? Two hours _should _be plenty of time._

"I suppose we could agree to disagree for now, because may I restate? I really missed you." By this point I lie on my side facing her and she mimics me.

I throw my arm around her waist and pull her to me. My hand runs the length of her spine as I push my tongue deeper into her mouth. She moans in response and pushes her body deeper into mine. I feel her every curve contour to my unbending body. Her fragile thin arms latch around my neck for dear life. Her legs weave into mine, which leaves her heat straddling my left thigh. I groan and propel my chest forward. It meets with hers and I come to a startling realization. A normally _vital _piece of clothing for a woman is missing.

I leave my nose against hers and free my mouth to speak. "Bella, are you wearing a bra?" My eyes remain close and I caress her cheek with my nose.

"No." Her voice drips with lust but I can sense embarrassment she is trying to hide.

"Now why would you do a silly thing like that?"

I have said it before, leaving Bella flustered in the bedroom is sickly gratifying experience for me.

"It was supposed to be a surprise for biology." I freeze my movements and contemplate what she was planning before I discovered this. I imagine some type of _punishment_, biology is going to be 50 minutes of exquisite torture.

"Shh, do not tell me, it still can be." I run my finger up and down the side seam of the only piece of fabric separating my eager hands and her waiting breasts. She sits up allowing me to remove that awful garment that keeps me from her. I will never get over how she radiates in the moonlight. Due to the ambient cold my body produces, I swear her nipple are almost always in a state of arousal. Which I am unfathomably thankful for. The peaks of her breast are so hard they become a light shade of brown. "Bella, you are so faultless in every way, please say I am somewhat adequate."

"Adequate would be an insulting understatement. You fulfill _all_ my needs better than you know." Her eyes smolder and she continues to grind herself against my thigh.

Her words drive me wild with newly erupted passion. I remove my shirt and roll her on top of me. Her supple breast shape into my exposed chest, sending electric shockwaves to every nerve in my body.

The sound of rubbing denim accompanies the panting and groaning we both release into the air.

Should we really be doing this at 5:00 in the morning in her father, the police chief's, house? The answer is hell no, but I do not give a damn. I want Bella so intensely now that I have learned I may have her soul and body at the same time.

Bella and her one-track mind have probably forgotten that we are, in fact in her father's house. "Remember, Charlie's room is only separated from yours by drywall and insulation."

"Well, duh Edward" She is full of surprises.

"May I also remind you that while in the meadow _you_ scared off a flock of birds?" I smirk at her collarbone and continue to suck on it.

"I know you're a sex god already Edward, I don't need reminding." All of the sudden she know exactly what to say.

So what would a "sex god" do now? If she is going to punish me later, why not beat her to the punch?

"Maybe we should wait until you do." I slip out from under her and rise from the bed.

We are playing a risky game now. But she had started it with that going braless stunt.

(A/N: Another lemonless chapter. I am really upset too! But I just can't write one yet, some kind of perverted writers' block. Plus I PROMISE the biology scene will help to make up for it! I made a typo with the word "she" somewhere in the story but honestly I cannot find it. So like always leave your thoughts and _**REVIEW **_please!!)


	8. Moan

Moan – Cute is What We Aim For

(A/N: Woah! Didn't I just post? Yes I did so this chapter is a little treat for all of you. Actually a review from iwantedwardtobemine sparked this little smut fest. And than she told me that she actually does it, which pretty much makes her my hero. So you see, if you leave a good constructive review there is a good chance I will use your suggestion. And 2,468 words is a lot for spur of the moment smut _**SO PLEASE REVIEW**_)

Moan – Cute is What We Aim For

Swoon this is the same old blood rush with a new touch  
I am safe, quaint and eloquent  
But my bottom lip along with the top one too  
Is chapped and it's all thanks to you

We all wet our lips to prepare for the kiss  
But it never came  
And we all wet our lips to prepare for the kiss  
It was but a game

You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone  
You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone  
(The bone, the bone)

You trained these lips when they were champs  
And now they're itchin' for a comeback  
So come back  
It's a shame that your claim to fame  
Hangs on someone else's name  
So come back  
Such a task and this is such a blast  
And such a task  
And such a task and this is such a blast  
And all that jazz

You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone  
You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone

You have a dangerous face and illegal taste  
And that strap is fallen on that shoulder blade  
Be patient  
Behave  
You have a dangerous face and illegal taste  
And that strap is fallen on that shoulder blade  
Be patient  
Behave

You have a dangerous face and illegal taste  
And that strap is fallen on that shoulder blade  
Be patient  
Behave

You trained these lips when they were champs  
And now they're itchin' for a comeback

You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone  
You have a moan all of your own  
And I can feel it down to the bone

"That's not fair Edward! You teased me for so long. Sleeping in the same bed as me, while I wore not much more than my underwear? Waiting patiently in my room while I was down the hall showering, _naked?"_ Bella crosses her arms high on her chest, obviously not comfortable being so exposed while we argue.

"_I _teased _you?_ If I may borrow some of your points and use them in my own argument, you slept grinding yourself against my extremely frustrated lower half, while you pretty much had wet dreams and moaning things like, "_deeper Edward, you feel so fucking good." _And those "innocent little showers" you took. Every time you thought such arousing thoughts and began to touch yourself, I could smell you. Everything you do calls out to me so much I could sense _that_ through all the other sounds, and thoughts and even _your blood_."

I take a few breaths simply to calm myself, I am far from being done with this speech.

"All day, all I think about is you. My love for you obviously, but your body nonstop. I do not care how much of a gentleman you think I am, I am just as bad as all those other bastards that ogle you constantly. When we are working on biology and you lean over to get help, my eyesight goes straight down your shirt, which until recently was mysterious, uncharted territory. Whenever I walk slightly behind you, it appears like I am just "spotting" you incase you fall, but truthfully I gain an amount of sick pleasure by just watching your hips roll side to side, making your," what do I say here? 'Butt' is not a very erotic word. But can I really use the alternative? Ah, what the hell?, "ass," _that word seems so foreign coming out of my mouth,_ "form tight figure-eights. In my mind I always imagine you do it just for me. So I think we can agree that we are about equal in the department of teasing, if you are not indebted to me." My breath comes out harshly, not because I am angry, because I just explained to Bella and _myself _something that I had not consciously recognized. _I am a horny little fucker, aren't I?_

"Good, I thought all my efforts were going to waste." _Wait so it was not my sexually frustrated mind just imagining all of those things? _She gets up and lets her arms to her sides, which allows her breasts to swing freely as she bends over and picks up various items of clothing. "I'm going to change," she announces, "I pretty much soiled these jeans all the way through." _Yes, I am aware, you might have just soiled the leg of my jeans too. _She slides back into her closet and it takes her longer than I expect. Isn't she just changing her jeans? I might have torn that shirt though too…..

Finally she emerges and I almost wish she would go back in. Her conservative jeans have been replaced by a tattered cut off miniskirt. And in the place of her modest red t-shirt is tight v-neck top that makes it clear visually that she is not wearing a bra. _Calm it down Edward, stay in control, she can never hold onto it._

"Bella, I hope you recognize that you are only increasing the amount of "tease" debt you eventually have to pay off by wearing this ensemble." I stand my ground, I have self control, until Bella starts grinding herself on me that is.

"Well unless this payback is in the form of abstinence, I'm up for _anything._" She marks the end of her statement with a slow lick of her lips.

"Come on human, time to eat. Sorry to tell you, you cannot live on me alone." _That's right Edward, keep the ball in your possession._

I follow her down the stairs keeping one hand over protectively on her lower back. _Who in this house do you think is going to steal her dipshit?_

"Charlie is going to wake up soon. If he catches in the house before seven he'll haul your ass down to the station for trespassing." She gives me a peck on the lips and a playful slap on the ass as I leave.

"I will be out in the Volvo!" I proclaim before stepping out into the "crisp" October air. At least that is what I have been told. I hear the crunch of slightly dead fall grass beneath my feet. She is going to fucking kill me at this rate. I am not allowing us to be known as one of those couples who are screwing in the janitor's closet every study hall. Plus Emmet and Rosalie have a lock on that title.

I drum my fingers on the wood paneling of the window controls. Time passes in the most excruciating way when Bella is not around. How did I survive 90 years without her? _I guess you cannot miss what you never had. _

I tousle my hair some more. It is the only part of my anatomy that I actually like. I do not see this vampire "beauty" that floats through so many peoples' minds. In my peripheral vision I see Bella approaching looking so….._fuc- nice. _

I need to tone down my language. Carlisle my only be my father in the public eye, but he holds me to higher standard than the rest of my "siblings", maybe even Esme. I was his first "vegetarian" companion after-all.

She saunters to the passenger door plunks down exceptionally hard, making her uncontained cleavage "jiggle" vigorously. I inhale a deep cleansing sigh only to end up with a lungful of sex.

"You did not change your panties." I state is a fact because there is no way she got herself that wet making breakfast.

"It's laundry day Edward." She says it like she is not sitting in a pool of her own juices.

Bull. Shit.

"The things I will make you do to repay me are entirely sinful to tell the truth." I whisper in her ear lightly, effectively swiping that smug smirk off her plump lips. She slumps against the leather, seems the "sex god" has made a triumphant return.

"Let's get going Bella, this is going to be a long day." I shift the car into reverse and take pride in how I can smoothly back out, while going from 0-60 in 6 seconds.

"Edward, I have to give you something before we get there." Sounds like an innocent enough sentence on a normal day, but today is anything but normal.

"What is it Bella?" Sounding exasperated with our little games is all part of the plan.

"Well, look." She spits in my general direction.

In a melodramatic fashion I crane my neck over to her, not even pretending to watch the road.

My eyes meet the sight of both of her hands traveling beneath her skirt, her hips wiggling in unison until she produces a drenched, lacy ball of fabric. She swiftly stuffs it into my pocket, being sure to push a little too far so that she is nudging my cock.

She lifts her self up to my ear and her hot breath bathes it. "I don't care if we are drawing our own fucking blood today. **Do not **be late for biology." She nibbles on my earlobe slowly before situating back in her seat.

Two things race through my mind in this moment.

Bella does not have _any_ underwear on.

Her _soaking _panties are in my pocket.

Fuck. When is biology?

So what are we supposed to talk about after she stuffs a chincy piece of fabric that drips of sex into my pocket? I suppose this is one of those moments that I have to tell her exactly what I am thinking. What am I thinking?

"Bella," I groan, "What are you going to do to me?"

"If I tell you, it wouldn't be a surprise Edward." She looks like the Cheshire Cat right about now.

What would a truthful Edward do now?

This.

"Bella, you cannot even comprehend how much I want to pull this car over, set you on my lap and fuck you until you cannot speak because your throat is so raw from screaming my name."

This is a bold step, I admit freely. But the health of my relationship with Bella overrides, Carlisle's high expectations for me and the gentleman inside screaming at me that you should not even talk to a 5 whore like that.

"You say that Edward, but I know you never would." She rolls her eyes.

What. The. Fuck?

That little fantasy should have her in a near puddle of lust, who does she think she is?

Sure she has biology but lunch is right after, and that is mine.

We pull into forks parking lot and for the first time, I realize collectively Bella and I attract a lot of attention.

First, there is the pitiful excuse for a female student body, that threw themselves at me relentlessly until they all just assumed I was gay because I would not take any of those idiotic bimbos up on their offers. And I can hear their thoughts, which makes it all the worse.

All of their nasally annoying internal monologues blend together into one. "_My boobs are way bigger than Bella's, Edward is aware of that surely……. Mm, I can already see the bulge in Edward's pants. I wonder if he ever thinks of me when he is masturbating?...I wonder what sick shit Bella does in bed to get Edward to stay with her. Seriously she looks like a total slut right now. A miniskirt? It's the middle of fucking October you ho!_"

I am about ready to lunge at the one that comes nearest until I catch the musings of the _male _student body. The sniveling, piss-poor excuse for teenage boys that crowds the hallways

The worst though is Newton. From the first day Bella had came to Forks, all he thought about was getting into her pants. He is despicable in every single way. His whiny desperate voice rings out over the sea of profanities and fantasies I am attempting to ignore.

_"Shit! Bella looks so fuckable right now. I hope she doesn't mind scraping up her knees in that little "fuck-me" skirt she is wearing. Cullen is such a pussy, I mean look at him, thin as a bean pole and pale as death. I know we live in Washington but does that freaky little emo ever get outside? And want size shoe does he wear? It can't be more than a 10. And I'm just about a 12. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even fuck Bella. When we were like freshmen he signed that fucking "chastity pledge". Douche. I really thought he was gay then. Seriously what 15 year old boy says he is going to wait till he is married to fuck?"_

His ramblings continue but I can no longer listen without promising I will not end his pitiful life right in this parking lot.

A growling noise escapes my clenched jaw. "Edward, calm down." Bella is letting hints of fear creep into her expression. Perfect, time to catch her by surprise.

I grab her hand and spin her into my embrace, then initiate a full on bedroom kiss in the middle of the parking lot. My hands began to wander up and down her body. I pull one of my arms between us and slip it under her skirt. I find her clit rather easily, it is swollen out. I drag it in rough circles for a few seconds long enough for the moans to grow loud enough for Newton to hear her groaning incoherently into my mouth. "You are mine Bella."

I end out little show with a quick squeeze on her clit.

I pretty much just fingered my girlfriend in the parking lot. Newton better not even fucking look at her today.

"See you in biology Edward!" she runs to her next class, holding her books to her chest in an attempt to steady her bouncing chest.

"Yeah, see you in biology Newton." I stride past him wondering if he will get the hint regarding the little show.

_"I'm pretty site I heard Bella moan something that sounded like Mike when that asshole was attacking her."_

I resist the urge to rip his balls right off the thing he calls his dick. I am almost breaking the skin of my palms with my nails in the process.

(A/N: Two posts in three days? Hang onto your loved ones, because it's probably a sign of the apocalypse. I wouldn't call this a filler chapter just a _preparation_ chapter. Preparing you for the crazy things going on in biology. So as always I request that you _**REVIEW!!)**_


	9. Curse of Curves

A/N: So I'm popping out chapters like crazy right now and it would be really nice to get to a HUNDRED REVIEWS before I post the chapter after this

A/N: So I'm popping out chapters like crazy right now and it would be really nice to get to a _**HUNDRED REVIEWS**_ before I post the chapter after this. I'm really itching to write some "Edward is a kinky freak in bed" scenes but I'm not sure how far out of character I want to go. If you want it, you have to BEG for it! Enjoy and _**REVIEW!! **_Lets keep it with _Cute is What We Aim For_.)

(p.s. for the practical purposes of this story, all of the Cullen children are seniors, Emmet and Rose did not graduate yet.)

Of course all things Twilight and Twilight related belong to Stephenie Meyer

_**Curse of Curves – Cute Is What We Aim For**_

_**I've got the gift of one liners  
And you've got the curse of curves  
And with this gift I compose words  
And the question that comes forward  
**_

_**Are you perspiring from the irony  
Or sweating to these lyrics  
And this just in  
You're a dead fit  
But my wit won't allow it  
**_

_**The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes**_

I want someone provocative and talkative  
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams  
"Touch her! Touch her!"  
And she's got the curse of curves  
So with the combination of my gift with one liners  
And my way  
My way with words  


_**It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped  
And you're on the gossip team  
You're making something out of nothing  
And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed  
**_

_**The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes**_

I want someone provocative and talkative  
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)  
"Touch her! Touch her!"  
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)  
From what I've heard with skin you'll win

We All have teeth that can bite underneath  
To where the reality grows  
Yeah, that's where mine go  
that's where mine go  
We all have teeth that can bite underneath  
To where the reality grows  
Yeah that's where mine go  
Where the reality grows:  


_**From what I've heard with skin you'll win  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win**_

I want someone provocative and talkative  
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)  
"Touch her! Touch her!"  
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)  
From what I've heard with skin you'll win  
With skin you'll win  
Skin you'll win

Hmm, lets see, what do I do now? I just fingered my girlfriend in the school parking lot. My fingers smell like sex and my pocket is warmly damp. The logical answer of course would be go to an English Class and discuss Dante's Inferno.

_With Emmett._

_SHIT!_

He will smell me a mile away. Emmett is well acquainted with the scent of…… a woman, and there is no way he will let me slide.

_Just stay cool Edward, as far as Emmett knows, you are about ready to go to the Volturi and have yourself killed._

The rain only falls lightly today as I make my way over to the English building. My dumbass teacher cannot differentiate between Dante's Inferno and The Little Engine That Could. I push the door open and try to sit down in my chair without breaking it. Emmet should lumber in any second now. Chances are he will smell similar to me, but for some unknown reason, I warrant a taunting for it.

I swear he and Rosalie are either always going at it of thinking about going at it. They have tortured my nights for way too long.

Emmett saunters in and looks like he is about to high-five me until he breathes in. His eyes dart to my right hand and he quickly lowers his.

"_Edward did you bathe in Bella's cum? You smell like pussy. I am pretty sure I could notice even if I wasn't a vampire."_

I take a moment to read the thoughts around me. I do not know any of these people by name so it will be candid opinions.

"_That Cullen dude stinks like sex. Maybe he is a woman………"_

I stop there.

"Emmett, is it really that bad?" I mumble it so low, none of the humans can hear me speak.

"_Well define __**bad**__." _

Emmett is not getting off, because I reek of jealous, overprotecting fingering.

"Emmett!" A loud whisper hisses out of my mouth.

"_I don't want the details, just go wash your hands, Bella feels like my sister now. This is weird."_

"Well no shit Sherlock. But washing my hands will not resolve this situation."

"_What is it on then?!" _

"It is in my pocket." I barely open my mouth and it is probably not even audible.

"_What the FUCK do you have in your pocket? Whatever it is, throw that shit away!"_

"But I do not want to." The small voice in my head whines at me.

"Bella will get upset with me."

"_Whatever Edward, again I would rather not know the twisted games you two play. I am not breathing the rest of class just so you know."_

Emmet turns and actually focuses on the lesson of Mr. Dipshit, who I have to correct several times.

The hands of the clock seem to stick in place even more so than they normally do in this hell-hole.

I have biology next.

I contain my erection by conjuring up the image of my dead parents. Cheerful, I know.

Five more minutes to go. It cannot hurt anyone to _prepare_ myself for biology right?

So I know we are doing a lab today, which means our normally oblivious teacher Mr. Banner, will either sit in the corner and fantasize about my Bella or play solitaire paying no attention to anything that may occur. The lab tables do not have tablecloths on them to shield anything, so my mind runs a blank on what she will be planning.

The harsh ringing of the bell shatters my train of thought and I shake in eagerness and _fear _of my next class. Fear that I will be revealed as the uncontrollable deviant of desire.

I carry my books in front of my hips, discouraging any growing erections and suppressing the one I have been fighting since this morning.

The rain comes down harder now as I slosh over to the labs. Heavier rain means Bella will be wet. As if she needs any excess moisture.

My hand slips into my pocket and rubs the soft piece of fabric. I bring my hand back up to my nose and take what I can only describe as a quick "snort" of the aroma.

It smells like faintly of strawberry shampoo, it probably rolls down her entire body after she rinses it out of her hair. It smells clearly the freesia body wash, which is most likely applied _closer _to that region. And finally it reeks heavily of a euphoric musky flavor, which I delight myself in knowing that I had been the cause of.

I see her approach as I lean against the brick wall at the entrance. Her eyes meet mine and her pace slows even in the ever increasing rain. She drops the books that she hugs over her chest down to her hip. The free cleavage glistens in the dreary rain as it beads over the mounds on her chest. Her hips trace that figure-eight that I had pretty much lived for until I had gotten something so much better this past weekend. The "innocent" doe eyes are holding my gaze.

Her face projects angelic incorruptibility, but it is so heavily contradicted by her body she puts Aphrodite to shame.

_Finally, the perfect comparison. If I am her Adonis she is my Aphrodite. She is an unquenchable goddess of lust and I am just her willing, imperfect boy-toy. _(A/N: If you are not actually familiar with Greek mythology, Adonis and Aphrodite are involved but it is extremely complicated and involves like 3 married people. And Adonis is eventually killed by Aphrodite's former lover, Ares, who I'm pretty sure is her half brother in some versions. So, yes I do know how twisted this comment would be in context. And I'm pretty sure nobody would even have noticed if I didn't point it out. I just like to inform my readers. )

"Did you prep yourself for biology today Edward? This lab is so complicated. I have no idea how it works, I guess you'll have to tell me exactly. What. To do." She drags her index finger along the line of my jaw as she passes by, never slowing down for a step.

I stare longingly for a second before chasing after her like a love-sick puppy. "Bella! Wait up."

"Well Edward if you don't _come _quickly enough, we'll never figure this lab out." She looks over her shoulder at me while sitting on her stool. Her legs were crossed high on her thighs, which I am sure could provide me with an excellent view if I maneuvered into the proper position. She sits at our normal table very back of the room, as far away as Mr. Banner as possible, who we had been lucky enough to get for junior bio and advanced AP senior biochemistry. I made sure this was our seat from the first day, Banner is sick bastard who fantasizes about Bella.

It is different. I am allowed to. She is _mine. _

I take my seat next to her and cannot form a sentence before the bell rings.

"Okay, today you will be determining the ph level of this soil and calculating the exact compound needed to make it fertile. Any questions? Good, now get to work." He sits down in a hurried manner. Only I know the real reason why.

I snarl through my fangs and Bella looks over disapprovingly. Her hand makes a small circle around my kneecap under the table. "Edward, he isn't worth it. I know you've done this lab dozens of times before so if we get it done quickly maybe we can focus on _other_ things."

"Bella, we are in a class room full of twenty other people. I would suggest you save whatever you were planning for a later time." I reach across the table for the litmus paper and testing kits. Even with my vampire reflexes, Bella still manages to sit up in her chair just in time for my arm to graze her razor sharp nipples. She is almost as cold as I am.

"Wow, Edward. Don't you find it really aggravating when you and your partner have a disagreement in timing? I was thinking about that this morning." Her voice takes on a shrewd tone but I assure myself that it is only to teach me my lesson.

_Aphrodite was always described as a vengeful goddess._

"You made your bed this morning when you left me in mine. Now it is time for you to _lie _in it." (A/N: Tell me if this makes any sense, because lately I have been playing with sentence structures and idioms like this.)

"Bella, I am going to embarrass myself. I audibly groaned all through school just thinking about how much I want to be alone with you. But now that I have received my wish, I do not have the dexterity to handle it." I keep my hands to myself and focus intensely on diluting the soil into water so I will be able to test it.

"Edward I'm not sure you're exactly clear on how this situation is going to work. I am not _asking _you. I am telling you what is going to happen. I feel I am being over generous by preparing you this much given the situation you left me in this morning"

"I accept defeat Bella, just whatever you are in fact planning to do, do no do anything the two of us would regret." I drop my hands by my sides and await her instructions.

"Edward, you sitting there with your arms limply flopping around does not look at all suspicious while we are doing a lab." The sarcasm oozes out of her words. "Just keep doing what you were doing. We do have to turn in a lab at the end of the period."

I release a beaten sigh and return my hands to the black table top. I carefully begin to poor a mushy brown "liquid" into the testing kit. My grip twitches slightly when I feel the slightest bit of pressure following the seam of my zipper.

"Edward, don't you have any control over yourself? This is a simple action that needs to be done. Can't you just do it?" She says it loud enough for other groups to hear, yet only I understand the double entendre.

The first part referring to the months of throbbing pain that I endured while restraining my desires for her while she nearly sexually assaulted me. The "simple action" would be fulfilling the needs that I had just created as of late. And the final part was a challenge. A direct challenge of my masculinity.

"The answer to both of your question is yes Bella, how do you want me to prove it?" My attention is still fixed on the murky soil, which I discover is much too high in potassium.

"Well those are two different questions that require two different answers."

Can she not just back down? This game is tiring and control had been mine in our physical relationship until recently.

"Bella, I have much more self control than you give me credit for. Try your hardest, I am not afraid."

She pouted in a manner similar to my own after she refused to melt into a puddle of desire this morning after an admission of my needs.

"I think I may have to take you up on that offer." My fingers do not waiver a centimeter when her raspy voice wafts along my earlobe as I am transferring the soil into a beaker.

Her fingertips resume the pressure on my zipper drawing upward until they meet the button. I maintain control over _most _my bodily functions. All except for one. Any guesses?

My physical emotions are so stoic that she just might give up save for the fact that one thing was keeping her going. A rampant erection that was crying out pain from being ignored for almost 24 hours. I have been reduced to a pitiful creature of pleasure.

I refuse to beg her to stop. If I give her an inch she takes a mile.

Our relationship is one backwards ass enigma. A boy desperately begging his girlfriend not to give him a handjob.

Hell, _I _am a backward ass enigma.

My body wants something so obviously but my mind after years of self-discipline and restraint can operate completely free from it. It worries me in a way. How out of synch can I be? I need to keep up with Bella, yet I have to rein in my control in so I do not shatter her pelvis or something of that nature.

She slips the brass button out of the denim and uses the momentum to pull the zipper down.

"You know Edward, you can't lie to me about things like this. Your body betrays you in the best way." She starts to stroke me through the thin cotton of my boxers. I am sure that my low hisses are not audible to her human ears.

"I am _painfully_ aware of that love." I am currently calculating the amount of buffering phosphorus I am going to need to set off a heightened level of nitrogen.

She pushes my boxers down just far enough to release me. Again I am not going to plead and recognize the amount of control she has over me.

I feel her frustration over my lack of response as her hand roughly pumps up and down.

This causes me to smirk one of my infamous crooked smiles. From an outside viewpoint it would appear that Bella should have all of the control. But in our clearly unique situation, I seem to maintain self-control in such a bizarre scenario.

"You still do not believe me? When have I ever lied to you Bella?"

"How about all of those times you said we couldn't have each other because you were afraid you would break me? Because that seems like a huge load of bull shit right about now."

Maybe I should play along? If I am loud enough, maybe I can embarrass her. "Oh, Bella" I moan just loud enough to attract Newton's attention.

Her movements freeze. "Edward, _stop it!_" She hisses at me.

I silence myself long enough for her to get back into the rhythm.

And then being the annoying vampire boyfriend I am, I do it again. "Oh, do not stop Bella!" This one is a tiny bit louder.

Newton not only notices this time but he rotates his head around, in morbid curiosity. I flash him a quick "eat-shit" smile and then a fake orgasm face, closing my eyes tight and dropping my jaw.

He quickly snaps his head back into place and sinks forward, resembling a defeated horny bastard. Oh wait, because that is what he is.

"You cannot win Bella. Just give up. You will be compensated later if you cooperate now." I trace my teeth along her jaw

"Edward, you are lucky I love you, because I hate this."

I place a small kiss on her forehead. She goes to tuck my erection back into my pants. Only when I let myself, do I realize that I have a terrible case of blue balls.

Bella notices too. "You weren't kidding about being a masochist. Forget that lion and lamb thing, I think you really get off on deprivation."

"You have no idea." I have finished the lab packet and we wait "patiently" for the goddamn bell to ring.

The shrill sound of banging metal combines with the sound of stool legs screeching across the tile.

I buy Bella's actual lunch along with my fake one everyday. I consider it one of the conditions of our relationship being the "gentleman" I am. Bella just considers it extravagant, saying that over the entire year it will add up to way too much money.

I use this as an excuse to lure her to my car. "Bella, I left my wallet in the car, this morning was a little _distracting. _You should come with me, I do not trust Newton lurking around."

"Okay." She follows behind me in the temporary lapse in the rain until I slow, allowing her catch up. But she still remains behind me.

"Bella, what are you doing? Please come walk next to me" I feel an absence within my self knowing she is near but not _with _me.

"I was just "spotting" as you called it." I let a rumbling laugh escape my lips. The idea is laughable, Bella pacing herself in such away as to sneak peaks at my ass.

"Maybe you should hurry up. I promise you will like what you find when we get to the car." I raise my eyebrows and face her.

Her eyes become big in wonder of what I am planning next.

(A/N: I am going to tell the truth, I really disliked writing this chapter. Writing such plotless smut lessens my passion for this story. I was surprised to see a number of you say that the story had gotten "more interesting" since the scene in the car. So the next chapter will contain more deep, sensual passionate semi-lemons and if that upsets you, where is your sense of romance? I know what I am saying now contradicts what I said in the top author's note but I am sort of conflicted. So now more than ever your _**FEEDBACK**_ is greatly appreciated.)


	10. Say it Ain't So

(A/N: Before I say anything, all of you are some lucky mo-fos

(A/N: So most of you who reviewed gave me some pretty good advice pertaining to my happiness with the direction of this story……. Stop being a whiny bitch and write whatever the fuck you feel like writing (I'm paraphrasing, you guys are nicer than that). If you haven't noticed my schizophrenic beginning and ending author's notes, I write them separately. It gives you a little insight to the writing process. Before I start this chapter, in my head there is a lot of passionate, sensual _meaningful _moments. I'm still itching to write the make-up sex AND kinky/freaky Edward so hopefully the writers' block is gone. And if this gets intensely dark, it's not my fault, the chapters just write themselves. And knowing my schizophrenic mind they might dry hump each other in the middle of an assembly next week, you never know.)

_Say it Ain't So – Weezer_

_Oh yeah.  
All right._

Somebody_'s heine is crowding my icebox.  
Somebody's cold one is giving me chills.  
Guess I'll just close my eyes._

_**Oh yeah.  
All right.  
Feels good.  
Inside.**___

Flip on the tele... wrestle with jimmy.  
Somethin is bubblin behind my butt.  
The bottle is ready to blow.

_**Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
Your drug is a heartbreaker.  
Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
My love is a life-taker.  
**__  
__**I can't confront you, I never could do...  
That which might hurt you.  
Try and be cool, when I say:  
This way is-a-waterslide-away-from-you-that-takes-you-further-everyday!  
Be cool.  
**__  
__**Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
Your drug is a heartbreaker.  
Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
My love is a life-taker**__!_

Dear daddy, I write you in spite of years of silence.  
_You cleaned up, found Jesus, things are good also I hear.  
This bottle of Steven's awakens ancient feelings...  
Like father, step-father...  
The son is drowning in the flood! Yeah yeah-yeah yeah-yeah!  
__**  
**__**Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
You drug is a heartbreaker.  
Say it ain't so a-woah-a-woah.  
My love is a life-taker.**_

Stephenie Meyer owns all things _Twilight_

I very quickly realize that even I cannot endure the teasing and innuendo that both of us have been through this morning. I reach back to grab her wrist and pull her to walk at my faster pace.

"Edward, I thought we were just getting your wallet." She huffed. I assume my "brisk walk" is more than a healthy jog for her.

"Is this not what you wanted when you were tormenting me in Biology?" I fight to keep my grip on her wrist loose enough.

"Well yes but…" She looks at the pavement passing beneath her feet.

"But what Bella? We have to trust each other now. You have to trust me more than ever now. I do not even think you can _fathom_ what would happen if your little teases drove me too far. I have to trust that you will not provoke me to do something I will regret. We need to work together now Bella, we are not at war." I kiss her forehead and open the passenger door. She slides down but keeps looking up to me. I let the door shut softly, letting my fingers linger on the handle, while I look back through the deeply tinted window.

I keep one finger on the Volvo as I circle around the front, fearing that the angel inside of it will be called back up to heaven. As if I am trying to anchor her to this wicked world longer than she needs to be. When I slip into the driver's seat, I instantly whip my head to the right, confirming she is still there. I feel an insignificant smile distort my lips.

Bella's lips reciprocate mine and she gives me a puzzled look, "Why are you so happy all of the sudden?"

"You are still here." I do not know if she understands what I mean by that. She has not yet realized that I am the worst choice she has ever made in her short life, despite my constant reminders.

"Always." She whispers. We both lean in to meet our lips effortlessly. Neither of us putting any force onto the other, just enjoying the feeling of being connected like this. But slowly Bella pushes her tongue through my sealed lips. I pull back centimeters and warn her. "Bella, that is one of the things you will never do, if you value your own life, or the possibility of becoming a vampire."

She nods and I attempt what I just stopped her from doing. Her mouth eagerly accepts pulling my tongue into it. My eyebrows rise in surprise at her assertiveness, but lower when I take advantage of the position she has put me in. I tilt farther over the center console driving her body deeper into the seat.

She stops her movement and pushes on my shoulders. She cannot actually move me but I sit back slightly at her will. "Are you okay Bella?" I search her face for bruises before examining her arms with my gaze. Whenever she rejects me I _always_ presume I have hurt her because it is my job to have restraint and hold back.

"I just want you so much right now, in every single way you can ever imagine." She mutters in my direction.

I lift her chin with my hand and look her in the eye. "From that statement it appears you are the mind reader, alas, the tinted windows are not that dark love."

"After what I did in biology, you think I care?" Her hand is over mine which remains on her cheek.

"The vermin we attend class with visualize you in compromising positions enough without the fodder you _want _to give them. I never want to share your splendor with anyone." Pointing out to Bella that she is a bit of an exhibitionist. Given not only what she asking for now but what had transpired in bio.

"I don't want to give anything to anyone except everything to you. And its lunch Edward, who will be in the parking lot?" She adds a mischievous tint onto the last part of her question.

"Well beside security prowling around with nothing better to do but get naughty students in trouble and technically my family because I am fairly certain they could hear us now if they tried, not to mention when we are being _louder_." I push her soft hair behind her ears.

"Edward, I really don't care about anyone else but us," She whines into my ear. "Why are you concerned with what other people think?" Her hand followed the line of my arm until it came to a familiar spot, a silver crescent moon scar between my collarbone and my neck. I wince as in pain, but it is not physical, just purely emotional. A brief reminder to myself that if I would like to keep Bella forever, she would soon have a similar mark

I force my mouth to make words, "You do not have to deal with the judgment continually, how I wish I could not take the thoughts of others into consideration and only focus on you." My hands and eyes remain on her face, despite urges for them to wander somewhere else.

"Stop wishing and do it." Her commanding tone quickly softens, "Please?"

When she forms something as a question, there is no way to deny her. My mind goes into a recognizable "panic-mode", where do I take her and what will we do?

"The back of the Volvo and whatever the hell she wants."

I have no idea where that voice in my head came from, but that is one smart son-of-a-bitch.

I have no idea on how to get both of us in the back seat without attracting suspicion. Because what other reason would two teenagers have for leaving the driver and passenger seats and sitting in the back of a stationary car? Most of the students are in the lunch room but the parking lot is not devoid of prying eyes.

"Just one second Bella." I place my finger on her drawn bow lips. I grip the headrest and vault myself onto the middle seat.

She gives me a disappointed look, "Edward," My name huffs form her adorable mouth, "how do you expect clumsy me to fumble my way back there?"

"I never did." I lean forward and scoop my arms beneath her body. I hold her like a child momentarily before turning her around to straddle me. She rests back on my knees, separating the friction I am craving. She is too, I can smell it. I through out a Bella-esque pout and drop my hands to my sides.

"Stop glowering Edward, you'll like it, I _promise_."

My knees are slightly spread but her generous behind finds purchase on my knees as she begins to twist her hips in a sensual rhythm.

Her miniscule hands grip the hem of my shirt and whip it over my head. I see in the rearview mirror that my hair has been fluffed up into her favorite disarray, tufts jutting every which way. I get confirmation from the goofy smile that erupts onto her face. I scoot my butt forward but lean back farther, putting my hands behind head. I have seen enough movies in a hundred years to know that this is a strip-tease on her part.

Her fingers outline each one of the muscles on my torso. Around each of my pecs at least twice. I bite my own lip, as she grazes my nipple while finishing a side. Then she goes down to the bottom of my abs following the small circles of the defined area. She saves the indents on either side of my abdomen for last. Her two index fingers delight in exploring the "v" leading down to a part of my body that is feeling rather ignored. Her hands drag over the waist of my jeans, leading down my thighs until they travel up hers and end up on the hem of _her _shirt.

She does not "whip" her own shirt off of her body. She literally _peels_ the still damp shirt off of her upper body, revealing inch-by-inch the milky white skin devastatingly slowly. I keep my hands behind my head for her sake. This game would be over hastily if my own strength was not restraining me. Bella stops when the fabric reaches the bottom of her breasts. I swear I see a smirk on her lips before her chest becomes uncovered before my own eyes.

She now shifts forward onto my thighs, allowing our bare skin to crush together in a heated embrace as I release my intertwined fingers from the nape of my neck. The warm wetness seeping through my jeans, again. Oh yes, Bella has nothing on under her skirt. I transfer my weight to roll Bella from my lap to underneath my horizontal body. Her small frame fits comfortably in the short backseat.

Meanwhile I am on my hands and knees above her. My hands make short work of pulling the tattered denim skirt off of her legs. I keep one arm to the side of her head while my other one fumbles with the fastenings of my jeans. I shimmy my jeans down to my knees and resume sucking at the skin on her neck. I journey down nuzzling my face against her soft bosom, feeling like a suckling newborn. She does not arch her back to push her breast forward as I anticipate but lifts her hips and groans, "Lunch doesn't last long Edward." It is a beg of a whimper, not one made in demand. This excites me more, because I am not sure if she has realized it yet but I have a bit of a dominant streak.

"This will not take long, I can promise you that much." My voice takes a husky tone and I thank God my tensing hands are no where on her fragile body.

I start to grind myself against her grunting as her own wetness lubricates my ercetion preparing the both of us for the next action. I push into Bella, tepidly as her very taut core still needs time to acclimate to my length. I proceed when her muscles begin to stretch and relax around me. Somehow after the "frequent" use her sex has received over the past few days, I swear she has only gotten tighter.

"Go farther Edward. I need to _really_ feel you." Her normally lower voice teeters on the edge of cracking when she is aroused. In her passionate impatience, Bella raises her hips as to thrust over me.

"Aghh." A near painful sounding cry exits my mouth when I feel the entirety of our hips touch. My slightly sharp pelvic bone grazes her clit and my balls smack against the mysterious area beyond her entrance.

I am genuinely surprised that steam does not rise from her burning skin as it meets mine. In my impaired sex mind, logically the sheen of sweat that covers her sweltering body would evaporate when met by my icy touch.

While my theory is proven wrong the heat we are creating does do an effective job of steaming the windows. Either hiding our actions or giving us away, depending on how attentive a potential onlooker is. 

I lift my chest from hers, giving me a better angle at which to thrust into her. My arms shoot out from my body, my left grabbing the shotgun headrest, my right grabbing at the cushion of the middle seat. Bella also throws her arms out looking for something to find solace on. First they look for their normal spot, my biceps. When she cannot find them in her blind ecstasy her arms flail looking for "something" to grip. Her right hand smacks backwards in the air meeting a foggy window. This also gives her more leverage to meet my erratic _almost_ out of control thrusts. Her voice slips into its higher register when undecipherable whimpers having to do with me, pour from her gapping mouth. I realize she is close, so I do not hold myself back, knowing that the swelling from my release will initiate hers.

As I let myself I go I revel in the new feeling of releasing into her while she is still tense, tight and pulsing. And when Bella comes, her contracting muscles only prolong my abnormally lengthened alleviation. 

"Hmm, you are so hot when you are enjoying your orgasm." She breathes into my rapidly moving chest.

"Well really is that so? Because every time I look down at you, your eyes are closed, so how would you know what I look like?" I tease her slightly and run my fingers through her hair.

"Because this time you _took _what you wanted. You didn't wait for me. And just that thought gets me really _excited_" Bashfully she admits it into my skin. "You throw your head back, and let your jaw go slack and your eyes try to close impossibly tight. But my favorite part is your hips. They move like they are completely separate from the rest of your body. I liked to watch you, like some kind of perfect machine"

"I suppose we should revisit that concept some time later, but now we must return to lunch." I run my hand down the length of her body one last time, before she must cover it again.

(A/N: Okay no bitching and whining at the end of this chapter, but I do owe you an apology. A story alert was sent out yesterday because a chapter was glitchy and I needed to re-upload it. And then I couldn't upload it yesterday morning because my internet is screwed up. I'm thinking of taking a time lapse soon because so far I have only covered about three days…….So _**REVIEWWWWWW!!!!!!)**_


	11. Talons

(A/N: Hello again, I'm back for my weekly injection of smut to the FanFiction community. I'm starting this chapter with NO idea where I am taking it sooo……this will be rather interesting. Below I have a review from _waitin4myEdward__, _which I consider a perfect review.

_m wonderful as usual!  
I loved how Bella told him how hot he was during his orgasm...that was great!_

the part when he was talking about what an angel she is and he thought she would leave the car...that made my heart melt!  
so romantic...I love the gushy Edward.

oh oh! and when Edward was like 'my family can hear us that was HILARIOUS!  
I can't wait to hear what Emmett has to say about this car sex...o man there are so many jokes he could use!  
Do u think you could incorporate some family teasing into the next chapters? I can just imagine the possibilities...

I can't wait for the next chapter! (as usual)

She (I'm assuming) told me things she liked about the chapter and suggestions for the next chapter. You don't even have to flatter me that much just tell me what you thought about the chapter! So I'll stop my bitching and get onto the writing now, enjoy.

_**Talons – Bloc Party**_

_**And in the dark, it comes for me  
Malevolent and without thought  
Uprooting trees, destroying cars  
Cold and relentless with arms outstretched**_

_**No boat nor brick  
nor crucifix can hold it back  
I have been wicked  
I have been arrogant**_

_**And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
Silent about it  
And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
And I cannot say that I was not warned or was misled  
When it comes it will feel like a kiss**_

_**Awaken from dreams of drunken car crashes  
You saddened my friends and claimed all my lovers  
I try to stay still so it will not see me  
Its talons rake the side of my face  
I want you to be calm  
You're such a slut**_

_**And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
Silent about it  
And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
And I cannot say that I was not warned or was misled  
When it comes it will feel like a kiss**_

_**And I didn't think I'd catch fire when I held my hand to the flame  
And I didn't think it would catch up as fast as I could have run  
Fate came a-knocking when I was looking the other way  
A new disease came in the post for me today**_

_**And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
And when it comes it will feel like a kiss  
And when it comes  
(And when it comes)  
And when it comes  
(And when it comes)  
And when it comes  
(and when it comes)  
And when it comes  
It will feel like a kiss.**_

**All things Twilight belongs to SM**

Redressing myself to return to classes is relatively easy compared to Bella's ordeal. I only have to hoist my jeans up from knees and retrieve my t-shirt from the floor of the backseat. Bella, on the other hand, has to not only locate the drying shirt but the skirt that I may have shredded while pulling it off of her.

The 17 year old guy inside of me takes immense pleasure in watching her supple body contort around the awkward positioning of the car's interior as she searches frantically for her clothing. Her back arches beautifully as she bends over, across the center console searching the driver's seat for anything that she can cover herself with. I sit directly behind her, taking in an uncovered Bella's behind. Her legs are still apart, on either side of the small bump in the floor of the backseat.

I have taken notice that since we have first met, Bella's figure had _filled out_. Quite nicely I might add. Her boyish hips had been endearing until the later stages of puberty had widened them, preparing her for a child she would never have. Her breast had too grown deliciously in antcipation of a child. But these new changes will eternally be enjoyed by _only_ my eyes and touch. Her stomach is still firm but now has an femine softness that drives me to stroke it through her shirts whenever I am allowed.

I momentarily shut my eyes and let my head hit the leather headrest permanently imprinted by my hand, as Bella's breast hang down from her chest and sway rapidly as she seeks out her shirt.

Watching her exposed body not only riles feelings of severe lust within me, but also conflicting guilt. My fragile, trusting girlfriend is distressed and bending over backwards to find a way to end her embarrassment and here I am acting like it is some sort of lap dance for my satisfaction. However, an uncontrollable part of my brain, the same that relishes corrupting her virginal ways, prods me to say something.

"Does being naked around me make you uncomfortable love?" I want to lovingly stroke her to relay the true meaning of my words, but the only part of her anatomy accessible to me is her bare ass. The gentleman inside knows that at touch such as that would not be portraying _unadulterated love._

"No," She huffs, but continues to hunt, seemingly too preoccupied to feel awkward by my words. "It's just what if I _can't _find my clothes? Then you would have to drive me home, naked. And our parents would get calls, that we both missed class _at the same time_. What would Charliesay? I can only imagine, he would probably charge you with rape."

I flinch at that word. A filthy word for a filthy act. I know physically that I did not rape Bella, I also know that I did not "mentally" rape her. A pungent feeling inside tells me that I took advantage of her, I took advantage of her uncontrollable hormones, and used them to my benefit. I took advantage of her undeniable trust in me, risking her very existence for my own carnal desires. In the brief moment I have been contemplating it Bella has not stopped her rambling monologue of justified worry.

"And then would I ever see you again. And just imagine what everyone at school would say! I guess you already know, sort of. Do people think we've, you know 'done it'?" She stops just as I am about to end her frenzied speech.

I was about to inform her that she has forgotten about our un-proctored study hall, rendering all of her panic unnecessary. But she flat out asks me a question like _that. _

"I, well, um, I mean certain people, but I never…." Even though such a thing is absurd I almost feel the urge to pull at my collar, attempting to release tension.

Bella reclaims her spot on my lap leaning her still naked body against my clothed torso. Her panting, warm mouth next to my ear. "We've shared a whole lot with each other, so I think you can share this with me." Her breath is un-ignorable on my skin and I give into her request.

I struggle to push the vulgar words out of my mouth. "Nearly everyone, but all they think about is you." I conjure up all of my extraneous breath to produce the next sentence. "Before you gave yourself to me, I would get infuriated at the images they would conjure up in there minds, fantasizing about what your lovely sex looked like as you lie on your back on top of the lab tables, and imagining your breast bouncing as they bent you over the desks in our classroom. It was not their place to sexualize you like that, you were and are mine. And only _I _get to think about in that manner. Besides, now all of their guesses about your bare body are put to shame by the truth that I have discovered." My fingertips graze over her womanly hips and she moves her body closer to mine.

"So, the only thoughts were about me? I find it rather hard to imagine that Lauren never had fantasies about riding you like a stallion." She is placing wet kisses along my jaw. Her throaty voice does little to conceal her raging humiliation at these outward admission. "Because I sure as hell did. And every second I was thankful you couldn't read my mind. Because it got pretty graphic," She stops her movement to slouch back away from me. I look down at Bella's face as she admits that before we were even a recognized couple she had dreamt about pleasuring me. Her face is possibly more red than I have ever seen it.

"I love you Bella, I love _everything, _everylittle single thing about you. I never want you to feel bad or ashamed about things you think. And even if you do I want you to tell me that too. You should never say things like that because you think it makes me happy."

She nods against my shoulder and looks up expecting me to lean down, "But what I said was true." Confusion floats throughout her russet eyes.

"But you did not need to tell me like that. _I_ did not need you to tell me like that."

"Shoot! I need to find my clothes I mean if we don't get-."

"Calm down Bella, you always forget about our study hall, plus I can _sniff _out your garments, remember?" I lift Bella up effortlessly and set down in the seat beside me. I inhale deeply giving my mind proper time to discern her pure scent from the second hand imitation.

First I find her shirt, lodged in-between the windshield and the dashboard before discovering her skirt tangled in the complex workings under the driver's seat. Once Bella has covered her body, we gingerly exit the car. Bella's adrenaline is still pumping through her body at the thought of making love during school in my car. This in turn stimulates me as we walk through the campus deciding to spend our free time in the lunch room.

"Are they still in there?" She is referring to my family of course.

"Yes" I slide my hand from her shoulder to her hip as we walk the path to the cafeteria.

"Should I be scared?" Her tone is half mocking but the other half is dead serious.

"No." I know my one word answers drive her crazy with curiosity.

"Well, what are they saying?" Smart Bella, she does not ask a simple question.

"They are not saying that much, but there are a lot of mental high-fives from Jasper and Emmett." She giggles and snuggles her cheek against my chest, her blushing skin is super heated against mine. "In fact I think you would find a short conversation with them slightly humorous." I smirk wondering what her reaction will be when he pulls out one of his infamous one-liners. Nobody else is planning to say much so why not?

(A/N: Sorry to leave such a short chapter like this that but I'm not sure where I'm going after my little lunchroom scene. I know it got kind of suddenly gushy in the middle but like I've said, the chapters write themselves. I just recently got my cheerleading uniform and lately my thoughts involve Edward as the captain of the football team and I in the locker room, _very alone. _Of course I could easily translate that into some Edward/ Bella smut if anyone was interested. And in my short AN last chapter I mentioned a time lapse, but to when is the question. Care to help me out? One of the first things I was thinking was Homecoming, but…… I don't know. So please _**REVIEW**_ and help me out!)


	12. Leave Out All the Rest

(A/N: _November 9__th__ - _More like Author's state of the Union this week. I just recently took up writing on _The Bad Touch, _another one of my B&E smut fics and it absolutely ENGROSSED my writing attention for four straight days. If you've been craving kinky freaky Edward, I suggest you check it out. But here I sit on Sunday morning, 24 hours before my self imposed deadline with a blank page. Truthfully I usually write the entire chapter the Sunday before I post anyway so it's not that big a deal, but the musical I am in is approaching "hell week", the week that the show opens which means I barely have time to breathe, let alone write. I hope that whatever I start now is posted before Friday. p.s. I guess the time period is after Eclipse but Edward never proposed, so yes all the other books happened. So REVIEW AND ENJOY!!)

_**Leave Out All the Rest – Linkin Park**_

_**I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared**_

After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me  
I want you to know

When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating  
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you

So if you're asking me  
I want you to know

When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are

When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
I can't be who you are

"Eddie! Bell! Over here!" Emmet stands up and waves his arms wildly above his head, trying to attract as much attention as possible. I _know _where we sit and have a multitude of vampire senses to seek them out if they were to move to a new spot. He is trying to prolong our "walk of shame", but I assure you, no walk with Bella is ever a walk of _shame_. It's more like a promenade of our joint post-coital glow to the envious student population.

I wrap my hand so far around Bella's waist that it is almost difficult to walk as my hip fits into the curve of her waist. Jasper and Emmet physically bump knuckles and grin at their pre-rehearsed script. Alice and Rosalie shoot Bella simultaneous grins congratulating her for turning Edward _the prude, _into Edward that says "Hey Bella wanna hang out in the back of my car during lunch?" But is that really who I want to be?

"Ed, Izzy! Have a seat. So where were you two crazy kids?" Jasper's long lost southern accent creeps in through his ear-to-ear smirk.

"Oh Jazz, I thought you heard, Bella's truck has been acting up. Edward was just out in the parking lot _checking her oil." _Emmett slaps Jaspers arm playfully like this is common knowledge. Giggles come from Bella at the use of this strange euphemism.

They allow Bella some time to actually eat. She pulls out her rumpled paper bag and retrieves only a green apple. The rest of my family continues in their banter but I do not, I am hypnotized by Bella _eating. _The row of her perfectly white teeth breaking the surface of the fruit. Her carnivores tearing at the fragile skin. For me it is like watching her hunt, though it sounds ridiculous, I mean it is a defenseless piece of food. But is that not what a deer is to me? This stirs tremendous anxiousness within me, day-dreaming about hunting trips we will take together. And the remarkable, animal like sex that will come after due to our unrestrained _needs. _But first she must become a vampire, she must _die _at my teeth.

"Ed, did you _rotate her tires? _Because by the sound she- I mean her truck was making, I'd swear she hasn't had her _tires rotated_ in months!" Bella and I lock gazes chuckling at our own personal comedy being put on right here at our lunch table.

Emmett looks especially devious, "Bella, has Edward ever _parked his car in your garage_? Because I don't think Charlie would be too happy about that, I know how much he dislikes you."

The rest of lunch proceeds similar to this, with Bella and I jokingly looking appalled every time one of my brothers' ridiculous metaphors are aimed at us. Rosalie and Alice stare daggers into Bella with their thirst for the details.

There is one more period after this which Bella and I conveniently have together, English. English is the one subject Bella shows any real interest in, which in turn makes me rather _interested. _No great literature is being debated today so Bella misses out on her time to shine. In class discussions Bella always points out the poetic, lyrical meanings to our dimmer-witted classmates, and even finds nuances that I have not considered.

We instead review literature and writing terms, something both Bella and I can do in our sleep. Bella's disinterest is made clear by her fluid "doodle-ing". Her hand travels in large circles across her note book. I must look like a real "creeper" to any of my classmates that actually pay attention to my actions. I never even look at the teacher during class lectures, my eyes are continually glued to Bella in absolutely any social situation and I never speak to anyone except her and my family. Real rapist material right there.

Her languid actions stop as she quickly scratches out a note on a torn piece of paper and throws it in the general direction of my desk. My reflexes allow me to swipe it of mid-air and read it before Bella is able to look for my response.

_I love you_

Nothing more.

Two words should not be able to carry this much meaning. We have said them to each other hundreds of times in all imaginable contexts.

But now, after all that bullshit I have put us through, nobody else in this entire world can mean and feel these words as much as we do.

I stretch my hand across the aisle to hers and all of her fingers wrap around two of mine. They release almost as soon as they touch, Bella may have exhibitionist tendencies in the heat of the moment but my grip on her hip is the most she is comfortable with in public.

The bell rings and brings us out of our dream world. "I'm ready to go now. How about my house today?"

Bella's house? Chief Swan will not be home for hours, and even when he gets home I will be up in my love's bedroom regardless.

"My answer is _always _yes. You know that." I run my finger along the exposed strip of skin between her shirt and skirt.

She leans in closer as we continue walking out of the classroom. "Good, because that will come in handy tonight." Her hand strokes my abdomen over my shirt, following the ridges and indentations of my "abs", dipping her fingers under the hem of my shirt to tickle and pull at the hairs above the waist of my jeans.

"Be good Bella, you have homework to do. And you must be tired?" I put on my best poker face, the area in between my bellybutton and _lower regions, _is very sensitive.

"I never thought you were one to flatter yourself Edward. While you are extremely _talented, _I'm still able to function normally on a day-to-day basis. But I do have homework tonight."

"And I will be right there to help you." I finish her sentence and close the passenger door as soon as her legs are safe inside. Once inside Bella runs her hand across the stereo.

"Do you have anything other than Debussy in here?" She smiles and requests does not ask.

"I have just what you are looking for." I press number 5, which brings The Killers' _Spaceman _blasting through the crystal clear speakers. I turn it down so it is not a distraction from our conversation.

"What is your favorite band?" Bella picks up my hand that was resting on the center console and follows the lines of my palm with her nails.

"That you would be familiar with? It may surprise you but Keane is pretty high on my list, Coldplay, Five for Fighting too. I respect bands more if they use more piano and less synthesizer. And you?" I am not generalizing Bella but I am expecting some pop-rocky girl band. Bella is my life but one raised at the time that she was, did not have the optimum time period to develop a versed musical palette. Remember, she comes form the era of the _Macarena_.

"Um well, Foo fighters, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace. Sometimes the louder the music is, the more I can forget about things I don't want to remember." Her eyes are distant as she stares out the window into the omniscient gray sky lurking above. First her answer surprises me, and tickles me a bit, but when she mentions forgetting, I understand. She wants to _forget. _Forget what? Her parents divorce when she was still a small child. Renee's can it be called _rejection, _by sending Bella to Forks so she could run off with her boyfriend. Or the scenario that rather kill myself than relive? My cowardly run-away act. I shake my head, trying to erase my guilt.

To Bella this is completely out of place but I say it anyway. "I am sorry."

She does not answer.

Poking at relatively fresh wounds is something I have to remember not to do.

But she looks back at me and for the second time today just says, "I love you." Her eyes are wide and glassed over with forming tears.

"Never, _never _cry over me." Now I take her hand in mine and marvel at how small it is, how _fragile._

"Too late." She grips my hand back, her fingers are not able to reach around the whole of my palm.

"Come on, we have calculus, and I know that is your _very_ favorite. I retrieve both of our backpacks from the backseat, and let her keep a tight grip around my waist as we walk down the sidewalk to her front door.

(A/N: It's 7:01 on Monday morning and after this long I owe you guys _way _more, but I'll post my explanation/apology later. Please please please please please review, I need it more than ever right now. peace out)


	13. Run

(A/N: Well hello there strangers! If you read the date on the first author's note of the last chapter, I posted it THREE WEEKS after I wrote it. Those three weeks were hell and sleep deprivation I promise you I wasn't just being lazy. Without further ado, ENJOY AND REVIEW!)

_**Run – Snow Patrol**_

_**I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done**_

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower, slower  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess

We remain silent until we are both seated on her squeaky old bed. I am always overly cautious of what I say to her, but now I am truly at a loss for words. "Bella I…… but I never meant to…. if you could please just forgive me, I mean I never realized that-." I let my incomplete train of thought float out of my mouth into the air to linger there ominously. And as usual Bella says something that I have never expected to hear from her.

"Were you blind? Couldn't you tell how much I needed you, still need you? You really thought you were protecting me by leaving me? And if you were ready to kill yourself after you thought that I had already, why didn't you do it as soon as you left? You were acting as if I had died anyway…… you abandoned me." No tears fall from her cheeks to the plaid comforter. Her voice stays steady and tone purely curious. Her gaze intently on her tight fist in her lap.

These are the questions I spent those months contemplating. All the nights that I had spent in the dark considering if I should just rid the world of my existence, so there would be no chance for my damned being to inflict any more pain on a living angel. "I never thought that your love for me could be as strong as mine for you. I never understood what I truly meant to you. Although I still believe I am far too dangerous to safely live a life with you, I am far too selfish to give you up again. We are both addicts Bella, and the side effects are grave consequences to consider."

My hands move to her shoulders while she continues to look down. "I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry for being so weak and causing both of us pain that we are almost done with. This sounds like such a childish thing to say but, can we just pretend that never happened? I don't think any less of you and I never want to linger on it again."

I waste no time in replying. "I would like nothing more." I am shocked she wants no further explanation of my heinous actions but I do not press the issue. "May we have the normal evening you had planned now?" I ask like the desperate 17 year old boy I really am, and throw in her favorite smile for good measure.

"Not _yet, _I don't want Charlie walking in on any……. _activities _I have intended for tonight." She pulls her calculus book onto her lap and looks at me expectedly. "Ready to help me?" _Of course love, but not with school work. _The demon in my mind resurfaces to answer silently. I feel now I have the self-control to allow him to live side by side with my conscious personality. We spend a considerable time on calculus but her endless questions never frustrate me. My need to help her is much to overpowering.

Charlie's cruiser pulls into the gravel driveway and his first thoughts are of me, because I was stupid enough to leave my car in such close proximity. "_Damn boy. I don't trust that kid farther than I can throw him. Carlisle and Esme may be respectable people, but the boy is adopted. And you know what they say about the quiet ones, always the closet perverts." _His thoughts are not more than grumblings in his brain.

"Bella? Charlie is home. I will help you make dinner but then I will have to return my car." I place a chaste kiss on her lips and lead us downstairs. I am sure to keep my hands by my sides. Charlie has the instincts of a cop, not trusting my hands if he cannot see them. He fumbles with the lock, and manages to give me the "stink eye" all at the same time while he closes the door.

"Good afternoon Chief Swan." I state it in such a monotone that Bella squeaks out a small giggle.

"Hi Ch- Dad. How was your day?" Bella asks so innocently, I would never be able to guess the carnal sins she is capable of if I had not experienced them for myself.

"It was good Bells. Hello Edward." He hangs up his jacket and turns to us. "Edward will you be eating with us tonight?" Charlie's tone tells me what my answer should be.

"No sir I will not. I was going to help Bella make dinner but leave after because I promised Esme that I would repair the garage door before nightfall." I put on my best "good boy" face.

Bella and I swiftly depart to the kitchen to make an unimaginative meal of boxed macaroni and cheese.

"Please Bella, can we make something more difficult? I have spent so many years watching the food network, and I have had nobody to experiment on." I whine to her mostly just to be difficult.

"Well Edward, remember that I would be one of your experimental guinea pigs" Her back remains to me as she stirs the pot of boiling water and noodles. I move behind her and grip the spoon over her tiny fingers. The front of my body is flush against the back of hers. I never noticed how much her behind distends from her smooth back until it is pressed against my thighs. I let my head fall onto her shoulder to watch her cook.

"I love how hard your chest is against my back," She turns her head so her lips are positioned directly at my ear.

I answer back, "I love how soft your back is against chest love." She collapses slightly onto me while staying upright.

"I will be back soon. Finish this and eat quickly, I cannot wait to be with you again." I kiss the top of her head and leave out of the front door. I resist the urge to sprint to my car and gently slide in. I race down Forks' deserted roads at speeds much faster than Bella would be comfortable with. I park the car in our massive garage and enter the house to quickly great my family before returning to her.

My family all sit at the bar of our rarely touched kitchen playing poker. "Hello?" I question to gain their attention.

"Hey Eddo." Emmett raises his hand in acknowledgement of my existence but does not turn around nor look up from his cards.

"_Edward, just go along with it tonight." _ Alice does not look up to make our silent conversation private.

Or so I think until I hear a "_Bow-chika-wow-wow." _Coming from Jasper.

"_Sorry, you know I tell him everything" _She apologizes.

"Well I can clearly tell that all of you are much too pre-occupied with yourselves right now, I will speak to you tomorrow." I stomp out to the Volvo, seemingly angry but really just feigning interest in their activities so they do not question my plans for the night.

The zipper of my windbreaker hums as I pull it up to my chin and prepare to run. Green and brown pass by in a blur as I remember to navigate the most direct route to Bella's house. I slow when I see the flicker of light from the kitchen window, and leisurely approach. As soon as I am able to see inside Bella is gathering plates and putting them in the dishwasher. I rap on the back door to the kitchen lightly before she answers.

"Charlie's watching the news, be quiet." She puts her index finger over my lips before I am able to greet her

"I'm going to go up and get dressed. Will you get me some water, _Edward?_" When she uses my name at the end of her sentences I light up a bit inside. I feel like she is calling upon _me _and _me alone _to tend to her needs.

"Of course love." I lean forward to kiss her forehead and she quickly departs up the stairs. While standing at the sink filling her glass, I sense rustling upstairs. It hits me. How could I be so dull witted? Bella never asks anything like _this_ of me. I move at a slower than human pace, waiting for movement to subside.

When the only sound left in the house is the hum of the appliances and a faint heartbeat, I make my way up the creaky floorboards of the staircase. I hear her breathing become heavier as I approach the door to her bedroom.

"Bella, may I come in?" I stand at the threshold of her room, refraining from entering only to make sure I am not ruining her surprise for me.

"Mmmmm." A low moan is my only response so I take it as a yes. After pushing the door open and closing it softly behind me I at last permit myself to look in Bella's direction.

The main light in her room is out, and moonlight bathes the small space with a pearl-like sheen, and Bella lies on her bed in the middle of all of this, _on her stomach. _ Her perfectly contoured behind highlighted in the glow of the night.

I disrobe and make my way over to her bed, joining her also laying downward. She twists her head to my direction and remains centimeters away from my lips.

"Is this the part where I should just say "yes"?" I move her silky hair from her neck, allowing the aroma of her blood to guard me from the smell of her arousal.

"My, my. Aren't you perceptive? Or just a mind reader with a psychic sister?" Her breath tickles my nose and bathes me in her natural scent.

"So I receive absolutely _no _credit for being so cooperative?" My face forms to the picture of indignity at her jab.

"I never said that, but your credit will not come in the form of _verbal recognition." _She kisses the area below my lips, trying to nibble on the granite flesh.

"Turn over Bella, I want to _play." _I drag my hand down the length of her spine, stopping short of the area that I am _really _curious about.

"I don't have to be on my back for you to _play, _Edward."She taps her finger on the tip of my nose reprimanding me for my naïve ways.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable I recall Alice's words, "_Just go along with it."_

I prop myself on one elbow, leaving the other hand, and my mouth free to roam. I push her hair to the side, leaving none of her flawless white back hidden from my view. I take my fingers and run them along the connection of her neck to her back. I lean over farther and nibble on the same spot, she lets a barely suppressed moan escape. I stroke my hands lower while leaving my mouth on her neck, gaining a strange euphoric feeling from the _vampiric _aspect of our current intimacy.

My palms reach the supple skin they have been longing to touch since my entrance. I cup her…. ass in my larger hands and suck my way down her spine. Bella lifts her neck in an attempt to observe my ministrations. "You can relax Bella, I may be new to this but I have some idea of what I am doing."

She giggles a bit and lays her head back down on the bed. I am no longer content with _touching _I want to……_taste? _

_No Edward. What kind of pervert do you want to become? _

My conscious does not motivate my mouth to travel any lower than the dimples of her lower back, yet my hands maintain their busy pace. Bella seems to lift her behind up to me, encouraging my actions. I bring my hands lower, down past the source of her heat to rub the silkiness of her inner thighs. My mouth subconsciously travels lower, when my fingers accumulate hot moisture.

Bella's face seems so distant I barely the tiny mewls and whimpers that feel the air, and I immediately think of her.

"Love, does this not seem degrading to you? I am allowed to _partake_ in your body but do not see your face." I state in a disappointed tone.

"Edward I swear, mind reading has dulled you ability to read people." Bella mutters in dumbfounded voice. "It feels good for me, and you like doing it and we both love each other. Please, tell me what is degrading about that."

I shake my incredulously and get back to my _actions. _Moistening my index finger in my mouth I bring down to her heat and barely graze the velvet lips with my frigid finger.

"Yeahhh." Bella hisses out as she lifts her hips higher off the bed, pleading for me to carry on.

Throwing my leg over her body so I can straddle her thighs, I know she can feel the erection settled between her legs. My hands massage up and down the sides of her body, fitting so naturally into her curved hips and waist. I bring my hands closer to the front of her torso, hitching my breath when I see her breasts flattened out beneath her body against the mattress. My fingers brush up her ribcage and all the way up her arms until they are pinned above her head.

As I am extended to keep her hands in place and bite at her neck, my length rests on her yielding behind.

"Now Edward, do it" Her breathy moan compels me to navigate my way to her sex and enter her with a tentative thrust.

"Bella…. So much tigh-." My sentence is cut short as pleasure overtakes every cell in my brain.

"Ommmm yes." She sits back on her knees in something resembling a yoga pose, propping herself up for me. My hands fill the curvature of her hip and she roughly picks her head up, it bobs along in tempo with my thrusts. I bend my body over and rest my chest against her, kissing and sucking at her ear as I continue a steady pace.

"Ahhh, oohhhh, noooo, ahhh _Ed…ward." _She pushes her body back against me as I continue pushing forward, grinding my body into hers more than thrusting.

Bella buries her face in the sheets to muffle her yelps of pleasure, I am far from done so I predict a repeat performance. I lift my body and sit back on my knees, bringing Bella up with me. I wrap my arms around her, keeping her slouching body upright with me. My palms cannot cover the whole of her breasts, not emasculating to me, just emphasizing her womanly body. Her head falls to my shoulder and I bend my neck to meet her lips. One hand travels farther down past the indentation of her bellybutton and the thin patch of hair searching for her clit, looking to give her, her second climax of the night.

Bella seems to swallow her breath trying to keep quiet, she violently rolls her body against me becoming as rigid as she can and tensing all of her muscles. I feel her sweat temporarily heating my body.

My climax is much the same, as I straighten my body out pushing my hips as hard as my conscious will allow me to.

I keep her cradled in my arms and let us fall on our sides back to the bed, still in a spooning position. "You are everything to me." I murmur into her hair.

"I love you Edward Cullen." She relaxes into my arms.

"_Buona notte Bella." _

(A/N: **THIS IS NOT AN ANAL SEX SCENE** , that's just not my cup of tea. Sorry this chapter was late, I just kept writing because I didn't feel finished. ABOUT REVIEWS: I got twenty for last chapter, which is AMAZING, thank you guys so so so much. But for every hit that I don't get a review for, I feel like that person's saying, "this story wasn't worth reviewing" So if you even liked it remotely JUST DROP ME A LINE. You don't have to an account SO DO IT!!!)

peace out lovers


	14. I'm Back

I'm back to write.

It may seem silly to only post this, and I know it may annoy the hell out of some of you but I had to post this to start writing. I'm making a promise to finish something I start by posting this.

Thank you for keeping me on alert. Expect something by Monday at the latest.


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